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Happybride2005
SPRING IS ALMOST HERE
Member since 5/04 15917 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Ariana Waterfall A+++++++++
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WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
Do sister in law/brother in law have to be in the bridal party?
Here's the mini vent. Today fh brother was asking him questions about the wedding.(the first time he's done it) When fh told his brother who will be in the bridal party, he had something to day. He said in the weddings that he's been to, when the bridal party is with other people besides immediate family(as in friends), the sister in law/brother in law should be included. FH sil isn't in the bridal party. I don't even know her. We tried to get together with them, but they don't show interest. Fh brother is telling him that he's not tell him how to plan the wedding but sil when be a little hurt. If I knew her and we did things with her, of course I would have her in the bridal party. But how could I have someone in the bridal party that I don't even know.
Sorry so long. Just had to vent a little
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Posted 2/5/05 9:49 PM 
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milla
Board Enthusiast
Member since 2/04 156 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/20/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
that is definitely a touchy issue since it sounds like you aren't close w/ FH sil.
To be honest most weddings I have been to included the sil..but these were all situations where the bride was close w/ the sil...
I am not sure if this is an etiquette issue where the answer can be found in a book..
are you having a large bridal party?
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Posted 2/5/05 9:59 PM
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Happybride2005
SPRING IS ALMOST HERE
Member since 5/04 15917 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Ariana Waterfall A+++++++++
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
Posted by milla
that is definitely a touchy issue since it sounds like you aren't close w/ FH sil.
To be honest most weddings I have been to included the sil..but these were all situations where the bride was close w/ the sil...
I am not sure if this is an etiquette issue where the answer can be found in a book..
are you having a large bridal party?
i'm have four girls and four guys. i was out with her once at a diner. i saw her at fh mom's retirement party...all she said that i had a nice setting on the ring. i met her when they were showing the video from her wedding. she said hello to me when i got there and good bye. i saw her for fh grandmother's funeral. she really didn't say anything. we tried to do stuff with them, but it seemed like they didn;t want to do stuff with us.
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Posted 2/5/05 10:06 PM
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DMcK
I love my husband & puppies!
Member since 4/04 5037 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/13/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
I think bil and sil are usually in the BP. It's up to you but to keep the peace, you may want to include her.
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Posted 2/5/05 10:08 PM
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Bunnymonkey
Feels like home to me...
Member since 6/04 4861 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/11/2005 5:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Raphael Vineyards
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
no one is "supposed" to be in your bridal party except the people you WANT to be in your bridal party.
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Posted 2/5/05 10:09 PM
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milla
Board Enthusiast
Member since 2/04 156 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/20/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
re: keeping the peace..that is very true....she is going to be your sister-in-law no matter how often you see her
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Posted 2/5/05 10:10 PM
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M&LSept1606
it didn't rain! it was perfect
Member since 9/04 2250 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/16/2006 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The Vineyard Caterers
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
usually in laws are included for the family member themselves. for example, would you be a little upset if you were married and someone picked your husband to be a groomsman, and didn't pair him with you but some other woman? I know it might not upset you in particular. (I don't think I would get too caught up in it either) but some people are very insecure and don't like seeing their significant other or husband walk down the aisle with another.
even though she's not close with you, I would have her if you're having his brother and they are married/engaged. One a pair is married, once you pick one, you have the other it kind of goes with out saying. This is just my opinion, not the rule of course.
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Posted 2/5/05 10:13 PM
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M&LSept1606
it didn't rain! it was perfect
Member since 9/04 2250 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/16/2006 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The Vineyard Caterers
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
when I said "walk down the aisle" I mean as groomsmen/bridesmaids....just wanted to clarify
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Posted 2/5/05 10:14 PM
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JPC1125
Friendship=the key to marriage
Member since 6/04 5052 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/25/2005 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Crest Hollow
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
gail, i woulndt put anyone in the bp that i wouldnt want in it
its my one bridezilla issue....i put my feet down for that stuff....only the best people will surround me...and be in most of my pictures
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Posted 2/5/05 10:48 PM
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jesslangen
The love of my Life!
Member since 9/04 3156 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/17/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Rocky Point
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
FH and I included my BIL because we (as couples) happen to be really close with my sister and BIL. We felt it only right to include both (my sister is MOH and BIL is a groomsmen). In addition, I was MOH at my sisters wedding.
But, if you aren't close with them then I don't think you should feel obligated to include them! JMO..
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Posted 2/5/05 11:08 PM
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germai68
So close, I can't stand it!
Member since 1/05 1021 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/23/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Swan Club
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
I don't know about all this. If you are not close with her than you should not have to have her in the bridal party. It is going to be a long day with you and your girls, will she even enjoy it? I mean she would she feel a part of it, fit in with everyone? That is something to consider as well. Plus, you don't want to spend anypart of your day making sure she is comfortable with your bridal party (the girls only part of the day that is).
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Posted 2/6/05 12:19 AM
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Dooodles
My two loves
Member since 7/04 4189 total posts
Wedding Date:
1/15/2005 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Riviera
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
You wouldn't have to include her even if you were close and still wanted a smaller BP. My SIL and I have a wonderful relationship as do future SIL and I. Both understood I was not interested in having a BP that was out of control. DH had my BIL as one of his groomsmen. My SIL and FSIL were both included in my day in other ways and everyone understood the situation. Have those who are dear to you in the BP, that is what it is for!
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Posted 2/6/05 9:13 AM
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Happybride2005
SPRING IS ALMOST HERE
Member since 5/04 15917 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Ariana Waterfall A+++++++++
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
Posted by Dooodles
You wouldn't have to include her even if you were close and still wanted a smaller BP. My SIL and I have a wonderful relationship as do future SIL and I. Both understood I was not interested in having a BP that was out of control. DH had my BIL as one of his groomsmen. My SIL and FSIL were both included in my day in other ways and everyone understood the situation. Have those who are dear to you in the BP, that is what it is for!
I agree with you completely doodles. Thankse for your important. If my fh was in a bridal party and I wasn't, I would be okay with it. I was just in a bridal party and he wasn't, he wasn't. He enjoyed seeing me walk down the aisle. When my sister got married(we were engaged at the time), he wasn't in the bridal party. He understood that there was no room.
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Posted 2/6/05 9:20 AM
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traceyd
2 yrs!!!!!!!!
Member since 11/04 2180 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/4/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Estate at East Wind
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
Posted by Anti-Bride
gail, i woulndt put anyone in the bp that i wouldnt want in it
its my one bridezilla issue....i put my feet down for that stuff....only the best people will surround me...and be in most of my pictures
I completely agree-you shouldn't HAVE to have anyone that you dont want or aren't close with. The choice is entirely yours.
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Posted 2/6/05 9:27 AM
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CubanBride
Yay! I am married!
Member since 6/04 4006 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/22/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Leonard's of Great Neck
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
You should choose who you are comfortable with. Don't ask her just out of what you think youare supposed to do. Screw that.
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Posted 2/6/05 9:40 AM
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Happybride2005
SPRING IS ALMOST HERE
Member since 5/04 15917 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Ariana Waterfall A+++++++++
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
Posted by CubanBride
You should choose who you are comfortable with. Don't ask her just out of what you hthink youare supposed to do. Screw that.[/QUlOTE]
i won't be adding her. to me, the bridal party should be someone you have a good relationship with.
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Posted 2/6/05 9:44 AM
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David'sbride
Soon to be Mom of Twins!!!!
Member since 7/04 3412 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/4/2005 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Watermill
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
You ar enot obligated to have relatives in the bridal party. We aren't. I',m having a MOH (best friend) and BM (best friend of FH only). His two sisters will probably do a reading.
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Posted 2/6/05 2:25 PM
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marc_rai
It's almost JULY!!!! ACK!
Member since 9/04 2368 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/3/2005 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Crest Hollow
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
I don't think you should feel you have to include the SIL if you are not close to her.
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Posted 2/6/05 2:42 PM
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angelbear217
Come out baby girl!!!!
Member since 12/03 3779 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/23/2005 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Inn at East Wind
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
I am only having one of my FSILs in my wedding because I was in hers. But she is FH's sister. If this person is not blood related to either of you I don't think it would be a big deal not to have her. You want people in you BP that mean a lot to you and if you hardly know her, she doesn't sound like a candidate.
Remember: YOUR DAY, YOUR WAY!!!!
Good Luck!!
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Posted 2/6/05 2:46 PM
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bluesashbride
thank you LIW
Member since 9/04 2443 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/21/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
fortunately i ADORE my FSIL, but when i asked her i did it because she was my SH sister and they are VERY close which i 110% respect. i also knew she and i would grow closer-or hoped for it-and to show her respect i asked her. i think you do the right thing by you FH, even if it not something you might normally do. doing this might bring you two closer together.
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Posted 2/6/05 3:31 PM
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suezboss
Is it Summer yet?
Member since 2/04 3087 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/5/2005 6:45 PM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow A++++++
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
Posted by Bunnymonkey
no one is "supposed" to be in your bridal party except the people you WANT to be in your bridal party.
Ditto.
Most of the weddings I've been to, DON"T include the SIL/BIL.
If you were CLOSE with SIL, then I would say include her... but in this situation, it clearly dosne' t seem to make sense! and it woudl just be a wierd that she would even want to be in it, b/c she is someone you are not close with.
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Posted 2/6/05 3:37 PM
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neeniebean86
live. love. laugh.
Member since 8/04 6576 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/19/2005 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
Im not having FHs 2 sisters or SIL in my BP. Theyre older, and have so much going on in their lives, that i really dont think they care either way if theyre in it or not. His 2 sisters will be doing readings at our ceremony though 
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Posted 2/6/05 3:39 PM
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suezboss
Is it Summer yet?
Member since 2/04 3087 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/5/2005 6:45 PM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow A++++++
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
Posted by neeniebean86
Im not having FHs 2 sisters or SIL in my BP. Theyre older, and have so much going on in their lives, that i really dont think they care either way if theyre in it or not. His 2 sisters will be doing readings at our ceremony though
Neeners UP!
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Posted 2/6/05 3:39 PM
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neeniebean86
live. love. laugh.
Member since 8/04 6576 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/19/2005 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
oh.. AND .... does she want to be in the BP just for the sake of it and b/c her husband is, or does she want to be in it because she wants to be there with YOU and to be by your side for such a special day??? seriously, from this situation, it seems phony for her to WANT to be in it, like just to look good?
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Posted 2/6/05 3:41 PM
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Happybride2005
SPRING IS ALMOST HERE
Member since 5/04 15917 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Ariana Waterfall A+++++++++
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Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent
Posted by neeniebean86
oh.. AND .... does she want to be in the BP just for the sake of it and b/c her husband is, or does she want to be in it because she wants to be there with YOU and to be by your side for such a special day??? seriously, from this situation, it seems phony for her to WANT to be in it, like just to look good?
i really think fh brother is making a big deal out of it. she has never picked up the phone to give me advice on vendors(she got married almost 3 yrs ago). fbil, i hope doesn't make a big deal out of this. even though i don't have a make up artisit yet, fh brother is causing stress. the joys of planning a wedding
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Posted 2/6/05 4:25 PM
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