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kdelace
Is it summer yet?
Member since 7/03 3090 total posts
Wedding Date:
1/1/2011 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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signing my annulment papers tomorrow
Our appt was for Monday but was cancelled b/c of the snow so its tomorrow. I am upset- reality is hitting me that my short marriage will be over- actually it will have never existed. Although I KNOW in my heart I made the right decision, it still hurts so much and I wish it didnt have to be this way.
My husband admitted to me that he has not gotten help since he left. No counselor, no therapy.. all lies.... And he is still drinking and god knows what else. Its so sad. I really loved him with all of my heart and part of me feels like a failure. But i cant force him to change. I cant force him to go the therapy, AA or any other counselor. All I know is that I cant live my life that way. Its not fair. its so cliche but we only get one shot at this life and I cant live HOPING he one will wake up. His wife leaving him was not enough. I only wish he would realize that I loved him so much and I am not doing this to hurt him. I had a hard childhood of divorce and dysfunction and i will be dam&ed if I am going to follow in those footsteps.
Anyway, just venting. I am so scared about tomorrow. My cousin is coming with me because I need a witness with me to signthe papers. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.
I honestly can tell you this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. Even only being married for a year, I am not leaving because I dont love him anymore, I love him because he has a serious drinking problem and will not do anything about it. And I cant sit there and watch him destry himself and take me down with him.
Wish me luck.. I will need all the strength I can to get me through this...
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Posted 1/26/05 7:45 PM 
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t
HELLO
Member since 7/04 2244 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/8/1996 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Huntington Townehouse
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
 we love you and you have our support on here Im sure.
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Posted 1/26/05 7:47 PM
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Jax430
Beyond Obsession
Member since 3/03 7661 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/27/2004 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
East Meadow Jewish Center
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. You know you're doing the right thing, and you have all of our support.
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Posted 1/26/05 7:48 PM
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marymoon
Someday Bride
Member since 2/04 12229 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/31/2013 7:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
You seem to know in your heart that you're making the right decision Try to be mindful of that when it gets tough. Also, let yourself mourn this. it is a loss. Don't feel bad being sad or angry ot hurt or confused. You have to go through all of it before you come out the other side. You're a very strong person, and you have a lot of support, so just do the best you can to move forward.
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Posted 1/26/05 7:48 PM
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jantany26
Beyond Obsession
Member since 9/03 8308 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/14/2010 1:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
Hugs to you. I know that your decision is hard one you made but unfortunately he has to want to change and If he doesn't than you need to find your happiness with someone else. Good luck.
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Posted 1/26/05 7:53 PM
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cocoa
I love my mer-man!!!
Member since 1/04 5870 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/8/2004 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
thatched cottage
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
you are definitely in our thoughts sweetie!!!
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Posted 1/26/05 7:55 PM
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nferrandi
We did it!
Member since 12/03 5367 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/9/2004 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
The Crescent
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
This is a very difficult decision, but as long as you're confident it's the right decision than you will be ok. It's good that your cousin is going to support you, because it will be very emotional.
It's obvious how much you love your "husband" but you are 100% right. You cannot allow him to bring you down such a destructive path. I'm so sorry that even after everything, he still lied to you about seeking therapy.
You're in our thoughts and we're all here to support you!
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Posted 1/26/05 8:02 PM
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TracyInQueens
Not a Queens Girl Anymore :(
Member since 6/04 3301 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/15/2004 5:00 PM
Wed. Location:
George Washington Manor
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
I hope you feel that a weight is off your shoulders tomorrow. Good luck. And you obviously did make the right choice, since he's still lying to you.
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Posted 1/26/05 8:06 PM
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NPbride
Married!!!!
Member since 4/04 1375 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/9/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Hamlet Willow Creek-A+++
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
You're in my thoughts!
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Posted 1/26/05 8:10 PM
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RedHead
6 people and counting :*
Member since 10/03 18761 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/2/2004 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow :)
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
WE SUPPORT YOU
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Posted 1/26/05 8:10 PM
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lilmrs
I am a conundrum
Member since 5/02 12034 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/17/2003 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Under a rock
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
We love you and we support you. When you need us, we will be here
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Posted 1/26/05 8:17 PM
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swags1016
So in love
Member since 3/03 12235 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/26/2003 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
East Wind- The Estate- A+
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
Kristi,
Everything that you have written is completely valid, you have EVERY right to feel like that! You are not wrong at all! By admitting to you that he has done NOTHING to help himself he gave you a glance as to what your future would have been if you had stayed. You have made, as sad as it may be for you to say, the best choice for you and your future. Stay strong through this one last thing!!!
We are here to support you!
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Posted 1/26/05 8:19 PM
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1017Bride
one year anniversary
Member since 8/03 7570 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/17/2004 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Lands End
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
for this difficult time.
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Posted 1/26/05 8:20 PM
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btrflygrl
Counting My Blessings
Member since 7/03 11106 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/6/2004 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Timber Point Country Club
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
Kristi,
I have been praying for you all along...you ARE a strong person, you don't need strength-you've had it all along. You are doing the right thing, absolutely 100%. I've done what you've done, I wasn't married though.
You build your support system around you, that is what will get you through it. You've come this far, and it's just a short hop until you can truly start your recovery from this. It will take time, effort, strength, love, and alot of self help. Make yourself #1 and do things you need and want to do for yourself.
We all love you here and if you EVER need anything, please ask me! I want to be here as your friend!! 
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Posted 1/26/05 8:35 PM
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xjulietx
It's A Sickness!
Member since 4/03 6637 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/20/2004 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
I will pray for you to get through tomorrow with as little stress as possible. I hope this helps you to find peace. You deserve it. I don't know you, but you sound like a warm and caring individual.
Hang in there!
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Posted 1/26/05 8:41 PM
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sarahthegreat
sweet pea
Member since 11/03 6398 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/4/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
stewart manor country club
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
have strength that you are doing the right thing. we are here for you
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Posted 1/26/05 8:41 PM
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AndreaLMT
Ahhhhh.....
Member since 12/03 2858 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/14/2004 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Atlantica
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
You have a big support team here.
I wish you the best...
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Posted 1/26/05 8:42 PM
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aliciahelene
It's A Sickness!
Member since 5/03 5545 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/5/2007 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
Oh!! Please know you have all my hugs, my love , my prayers with you tomorrow!!! I am so sorry that you are going through this but so proud of you for knowing that you deserve better. You gave it a shot, you loved him and you took the time to know that this isnt for you and that takes guts!! So please be proud of yourself...you are much stronger than you think. Tomorrow will be hard day, but then it is behind you and you can officially move on!!!! Im thinking of you and here for you..please know that!!!!! All my prayers are going to you tomorrow!
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Posted 1/26/05 8:43 PM
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MrsERod
Praying for Deb ♥
Member since 10/03 5549 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/1/2003 1:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Friend
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
be strong and know that you have friends here always...whatever you need, let us know and we'll be there!!
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Posted 1/26/05 8:44 PM
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DrmnBlnd
I need a vacation!!
Member since 12/02 5976 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/15/2004 12:20 PM
Wed. Location:
Giorgio's
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
You are in my prayers
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Posted 1/26/05 8:45 PM
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suven
Sunny skies on my wedding day!
Member since 8/03 5968 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/30/2004 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Leonard's of Great Neck: A
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
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Posted 1/26/05 8:56 PM
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palebride
Intercourse knows no season...
Member since 6/03 12375 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/3/2004 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Watermill
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
I wish there was something i could do or say that would make this easier for you - you are one of the sweetest, most caring people I've ever met....and you truly don't deserve all of the hurt you've experienced.....
Please know that you will be in my thoughts.....
And I truly believe that you are doing the right thing for you.....and I can't imagine how difficult a decision it was to come to....
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Posted 1/26/05 8:56 PM
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danigirl0
open the windows!
Member since 2/03 2673 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/6/2004 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
long island
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
wow. i wish you all the best of strength tomorrow. i really admire you for making a wise decision as a woman, when many do not. i know you feel guilt and sorrow over this, and i am sure a lot of it is because of things he may have said or done. you ARE right about living once. and with all of our freedoms and opportunitites it would be wrong for you to subject yourself to something that may eventually put you and your future children in danger.
when you feel guilty, remorseful, and all of your other versions of emotions, remember that you are a role model for those who do not have the strenght that you do to recognize a problem and do something about it. as you said, your husband had the chance to change, and rather than seeing this as a wakeup call, he continued with lies and manipulation.
good luck. i dont know you, but i am proud of you!
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Posted 1/26/05 9:05 PM
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Moehick
So Happy Together
Member since 9/03 7333 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/14/2004 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
Your a strong girl and are doing the right thing, especially since now you know he never got help and is still up to his old tricks!
Tomorrow after you sign those papers is the start of a whole new life.
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Posted 1/26/05 9:09 PM
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JodiBabe
John's Lighthouse Lady
Member since 4/02 4280 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/13/2003 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Beach Club Estate, Ronkonkoma
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Re: signing my annulment papers tomorrow
Kristi
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Posted 1/26/05 9:12 PM
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