Anyone who's already living with FH or have kids with having this problem..

Do people close to you dismiss your talking about the wedding and your ideas like your being silly? Do you get alot of people telling you that your practically married already why not save the money and go to city hall? I feel like everyone around me except for my mother and sister(my mother just recently came around)are being dream squashers. I didn't grow up as a little girl dreaming about what I'd wear to city hall(not that I look down on anyone who does) and why once you have kids or live together do they feel a wedding is only for those not doing either. Getting very frustrated. I've already had to switch my MOH(long story)and now my sister who I originally was going to ask is my MOH and atleast Im not worried about getting a shower now(which I believe every bride looks forward too). No one was even excited about us getting engaged because we already have kids. Just needed to vent..
Thanks

Re: Anyone who's already living with FH or have kids with having this problem..

Dont let all that talk/advice..whatever you want to call it, get to you!! This is what you want and what you choose and if a wedding its going to make you happy, that is what is happening.
I think as little girls we all dream about this day and we look forward to it. So maybe life took a little turn and it didnt go as followed...marriage,move in,kids, etc. Who says its too late?? Nope, never!!!!

Im not in your situation...well, kind of living with FH since I am there every nite. I wouldnt let anyone change or make my decision and let me get bothered. Its my day!

A wedding is the unity of two people who love each other.....so have your WEDDING!!

Re: Anyone who's already living with FH or have kids with having this problem..

I'm not in your situation, but I just wanted to let you know not to let them get you down. You are also entitled to your dream wedding.

Re: Anyone who's already living with FH or have kids with having this problem..

Hi Im not an 06 bride but I had the same problem when I was in the early stages of planning my wedding!!!
My fh and I live together and have a son together. I can't even begin to count how many times.. esp. his parents told us to save our money and go to city hall b/c we were already " married in everyones eyes anyway"

Well it really started getting to me to where I almost called off the wedding b/c I was having second thoughts and thought it was selfish of us to spend all this money on one day when we can save it for our future & for our family.
Well my fh wasnt really involved with the wedding stuff at that point b/c it was still 2 years away but thats when he came around.
He told me that he didnt want me to wake up one day and regret not having the wedding of my dreams and the wedding we deserved. He knew that every single wedding we went to from then on part of me would be sad and jealous and we both didnt want that.

Well its now 39 days to the wedding and EVERYONE has come around! they see how excited we are and how happy we are and that this is our choice and we are going to do it no matter what. I just had my shower this past weekend and recieved SO MANY nice gifts from everyone. and I am SOOOOOOO happy my fh changed my mind and that we are going through with the big wedding of our dreams!

Re: Anyone who's already living with FH or have kids with having this problem..

I hope it all turns out like that. See we live with FIL's and have 5kids in all(I know it's alot)and we have been here, except for 3 months we tried living in FLA.(had to come back for financial reasons),for 2 1/2yrs. Believe me we want to move out and thought we were being selfish and I still do at times for planning this wedding and spending this money instead of using it to get a house or an apartment. FH and I though came to the conclusion that if we moved out first that we would never be able to save for a wedding at all(cost of living and having 5 kids to raise) so if we were going to do this we had to do it now and then save to move. It's not that we think a wedding is more important than a house it's just the only way with me still in school and not working that we can pull off having both and I don't want to wait anymore. Not only am I anxious but I feel like I sending the kids a message that it's not important to be married. Not to mention that Im still clearing up alot of debt for both of us so even with a down pmt. for a house no bank is going to give us a mortgage. I just feel that this on top of the other stuff I posted is making people judge and give not advice or opinions but what they believe as fact and don't want to hear our side. Well Im rambling again, sorry it's just very frustrating when you feel like no one understands.

Re: Anyone who's already living with FH or have kids with having this problem..

i get that alot. me and fh live together we do not have any kids yet. everyone is constantly saying go to town hall and save money. i keep saying NO...i want my dream wedding like all the rest of you had....they look at me funny and just stand there...it gets me so mad....

Re: Anyone who's already living with FH or have kids with having this problem..

I truly don't know where it clicks that all of the sudden you'd be better off without it. They obviously weren't that's why they did it. Now adays anyway what you spend are you wedding doesn't come close to what most of us need to come up with for a down payment on a house. I just wish people would look at it from our point of view and stop punishing us for having kids or for living together.