Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

I need some advice. I'm starting the pharmacy program at LIU in Fall 2005. Here's the problem, me/ my FI are having an e-party in May/05 and then in 2007 get married. We haven't officially booked anything for our wedding yet.

Now the thing is I work full-time at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and make pretty decent money. I really enjoy the people and the environment and have grown attached to some people.

Further, I was just offered a position at CVS in the pharmacy dept. as a pharmacist technician and they told me that they are going to try to match my current salary as best as possible. It's literally in walking distance to my house. Granted in the end w/ metro cards, lunch and all it may end up coming to the same amount. I'm really excited about this position at CVS because they are also guaranteeing me a position a pharmacist once I graduation and they would be paying for some schooling. I definitely want to become a pharmacist- BUT WHEN DO I GET MARRIED? I'm happy, but confused at the same time.


Do I take this job? Do I just stay at MSK? I'm pretty sure that once I am done w/ my degree I can go back to MSK.

If I plan to go back to school that means that I would have to work part-time and take a pay reduction. In the long run I know this will pay off, but I don't want to feel like I'm putting a financial burden on anyone. In a sense I'd rather make my own way than have anyone help.

Here's the dilemma: My FI and I were planning a June 2007, but lately I was thinking maybe moving it to June 2008. I'm not sure. What would you ladies do?
TIA

Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

I think a lot of people put things on hold like marriage,kids,etc. They are always waiting for the perfect time. Well, there is no perfect time for anything. Getting married in 2007 or getting married in 2008 makes no difference. If you wait to 2008, something else might come up and you'll convenience yourself you should wait another year. If you and your Fh love each other you will make any difficult situation you have in life better. Get married in 2007 and you'll have a great time.
In reference to your job, do what makes you happy, not what will pay better. If you love Sloan Ketterin stay their, especially if you are making enough money to support yourself. Though if pharmacy is what you have always wanted to do, go for it. Don't worry about working part-time for awhile you'll be okay. Good Luck!!!

Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

I also work fulltime and go to school at night for my masters and I am house hunting as well and getting married in September.

In conversation with my parents once I was saying how maybe we should postpone the wedding 1 more tear to have more money etc.....my Dad said "why on Earth would you ever want to postpone being with each other" and that was the best advice someone ever gave me. You make it all work somehow to be with the person you love. Good luck to you

Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

Dont wait. there is never a right time for anything. You can do more than 2 things at once if you put your mind to it. Just think of it you will have a wonderful husband to share all of this with.

Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

Don't wait! I'm taking the bar exam 1 month before my wedding (like several other brides on here), working in a pro bono clinic and at a law firm....You can plan your wedding and save money- you just have to allocate your time wisely. (Haha, I say that when I have a final on Monday, but I'm typing this anyway- go figure )

Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

there is never going to be a right time. My parents always say to me "If we had waited for the "right time" financially or career wise, neither you or your other 4 sisters would be here".

Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

FH and I considered waiting another year and decided not to. We didn't want to wait any longer.

Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

i did it all when we got married - i was in grad school f/t, working f/t and planning our wedding (oh, and did i mention that i live an hr away from my job and school??) you can do it....we thought about postponing ours but realized it wasn't worth it, why wait?

my dh's mom passed away just one day after the "one more yr" mark to our wedding and it really put so much in perspective. we live in a world where anything can happen and you can lose someone at any time, we did it partly because we also wanted everyone we knew to be there instead of us putting it off.

to be honest, from other friends i have learned, there is always something, or soem reason...if you want it, do it...life is too short.

i won't kid you, at times, it will get crazy but just keep things in perspective - looking back i wish i had more time sometimes but you know what? i enjoyed my day and love being married to my dh! you can always look back at anything and play monday night quarterback after the fact than before, no matter how busy you are....

good luck and if you ever need encouragement you can fm me....i was in your boat (and actually still am....i went back for my 2nd grad degree this past year....luckily i have a very understanding husband who supports my insanity!!)

Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

I just wanted to reinforce what the other ladies have already said. There really will never be a "perfect time" to get married (have kids, move, buy a house, etc). I have often put career first, and in the end, it has never been the thing that makes me happiest or been the most important (family, friends, and fh are). Put the important people (you and fh) first, the other things are going to happen. It may not always be perfect or easy, but that's life--enjoy the ride

Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

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Posted by Rina

I need some advice. I'm starting the pharmacy program at LIU in Fall 2005. Here's the problem, me/ my FI are having an e-party in May/05 and then in 2007 get married. We haven't officially booked anything for our wedding yet.

Now the thing is I work full-time at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and make pretty decent money. I really enjoy the people and the environment and have grown attached to some people.

Further, I was just offered a position at CVS in the pharmacy dept. as a pharmacist technician and they told me that they are going to try to match my current salary as best as possible. It's literally in walking distance to my house. Granted in the end w/ metro cards, lunch and all it may end up coming to the same amount. I'm really excited about this position at CVS because they are also guaranteeing me a position a pharmacist once I graduation and they would be paying for some schooling. I definitely want to become a pharmacist- BUT WHEN DO I GET MARRIED? I'm happy, but confused at the same time.


Do I take this job? Do I just stay at MSK? I'm pretty sure that once I am done w/ my degree I can go back to MSK.

If I plan to go back to school that means that I would have to work part-time and take a pay reduction. In the long run I know this will pay off, but I don't want to feel like I'm putting a financial burden on anyone. In a sense I'd rather make my own way than have anyone help.

Here's the dilemma: My FI and I were planning a June 2007, but lately I was thinking maybe moving it to June 2008. I'm not sure. What would you ladies do?
TIA

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Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

i've only been engaged a short time, but i was so surpirsed with FI said, "i don't want to wait any longer to be with you all the time."

i know i shouldn't be surprised (hence, the ring and proposal) but we live an hour apart and I didn't really realize that when he said "will you marry me" he meant, like RIGHT now.

but we are going to wait over a year... he refused to even look at spring 05 because it would be "too long."

the first lesson i've learned since being engaged, there is no perfect advice, no one way to go, not one perfect time or venue....its different for all of us.

so if 2008 makes you feel better, then do it. but if you think you can't do it - you can. it sounds like you are really successful and i bet you can make that and literally anything else that falls into your lap.

good luck!

Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

I am in a similar position and I have to say do what in your heart you think is right. AllinNMatt06 had a good point that something else may come up. I too am going to be right in the middle of my masters degree when we have our wedding in 2006. It would have been easier, maybe, to put it off another year until I graduated from grad school, but FH and I discussed this and he is okay with supporting me for a year while I finish my degree. We had pushed back the date several times already (we were supposed to be married in 2003), but we feel confident that we can do it in 2006. It's up to you. You should discuss this w/ FH. Don't feel that you have to rush the date either if you feel that being on a part time salary will be too stressful, however if you are in a position that it will work out anyway, go for it!
As far as the job thing, do what you feel happiest. If the position at CVS is more along the lines of what you want for your career goals, you may want to chose that over the wonderful coworkers at your other job. Trust me, I know how you feel. You can always keep in touch with the people, you know?

BTW: I go to LIU too , which campus?

Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

I got married during my 3rd year of law school. I am also a clerk for a firm where i work 25 hours a week, a research assistant for one of my profs and I had just finished an internship at the EEOC. I figured it was best to get married while I was in law school because I did not want to ask for 2 weeks off during during my 1st year of practicing.

Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

personally, I wouldn't wait. school and work aren't going anywhere. even when you are finished, you will still have a lot of work, and maybe by then, you will have a house, so there will be the added stress and expenses of that, too. what i am saying is that all of that stuff will be there. your relationship is what is most important...celebrate it sooner rather than later!

Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

I agree with everyone else. 2008 is so far off. You have plenty of time to plan a 2007 wedding, no matter what career path you choose, you just do a little at a time on weekends. LIW is a great time saving (or time wasting ) device (depending on how you use it). I have NO idea where I;m going to be career wise, school wise, etc in Dec 2006, when I marry my FH, but I don't want to wait. We've already put it to 2006 to save some money, but really even if you had it all mapped out, there are so many things that can happen that you couldn;t predict that could change it all anyway. There is no perfect time, except for whenever you and your Fh are ready to start the rest of your lives together, and it doens't seem like you need to wait until 2008 for that. Best of luck!

Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

Hey everyone. Sorry for not getting back sooner. I haven't been on my computer lately.
Anyways, you ladies are so helpful. I can't begin to thank-you enough. Your all right. I always try to find the perfect time for everything and in the end life is just too short to waste looking for that perfect "time". Afterall, what is perfect! Things are always going to come up- you can't plan life. Ahhhhh. I've actually been considering and will probably end up leaving Memorial Sloan. I spoke and met w/ one of the managers at CVS and he was telling me how excited he is to have me on board and will love to have me in his store. He told me that out of many applicants applying for the position of pharmacy tech., mine was the most impressive. Training will start after the holidays.

I just have to take things one step at a time. In the end, it will all work out...I hope at least. Thanks to everyone's advice I have decided that a 2007 is right. I spoke w/ my FI and he doesn't care when, he just wants me to be happy and comfortable. He tells me if I wanna get married even sooner it's fine. I think I'm sticking to 2007. It just feels right. Love you all

Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

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Posted by 7706bride

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Posted by Rina

I need some advice. I'm starting the pharmacy program at LIU in Fall 2005. Here's the problem, me/ my FI are having an e-party in May/05 and then in 2007 get married. We haven't officially booked anything for our wedding yet.

Now the thing is I work full-time at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and make pretty decent money. I really enjoy the people and the environment and have grown attached to some people.

Further, I was just offered a position at CVS in the pharmacy dept. as a pharmacist technician and they told me that they are going to try to match my current salary as best as possible. It's literally in walking distance to my house. Granted in the end w/ metro cards, lunch and all it may end up coming to the same amount. I'm really excited about this position at CVS because they are also guaranteeing me a position a pharmacist once I graduation and they would be paying for some schooling. I definitely want to become a pharmacist- BUT WHEN DO I GET MARRIED? I'm happy, but confused at the same time.


Do I take this job? Do I just stay at MSK? I'm pretty sure that once I am done w/ my degree I can go back to MSK.

If I plan to go back to school that means that I would have to work part-time and take a pay reduction. In the long run I know this will pay off, but I don't want to feel like I'm putting a financial burden on anyone. In a sense I'd rather make my own way than have anyone help.

Here's the dilemma: My FI and I were planning a June 2007, but lately I was thinking maybe moving it to June 2008. I'm not sure. What would you ladies do?
TIA

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If you want to keep your 2007 wedding as planned, than go ahead, but i wi=ould not recommend waiting until 2008! things will always come up and you will never find a perfect time!
BTW. i used to work in MSKCC also!!! I was a nurse there!

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Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

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Posted by FutureMrsH

I am in a similar position and I have to say do what in your heart you think is right. AllinNMatt06 had a good point that something else may come up. I too am going to be right in the middle of my masters degree when we have our wedding in 2006. It would have been easier, maybe, to put it off another year until I graduated from grad school, but FH and I discussed this and he is okay with supporting me for a year while I finish my degree. We had pushed back the date several times already (we were supposed to be married in 2003), but we feel confident that we can do it in 2006. It's up to you. You should discuss this w/ FH. Don't feel that you have to rush the date either if you feel that being on a part time salary will be too stressful, however if you are in a position that it will work out anyway, go for it!
As far as the job thing, do what you feel happiest. If the position at CVS is more along the lines of what you want for your career goals, you may want to chose that over the wonderful coworkers at your other job. Trust me, I know how you feel. You can always keep in touch with the people, you know?

BTW: I go to LIU too , which campus?

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Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

Your decision is a really hard one. I got engaged in 2000 and then started the nursing program soon after. We decided to wait till after graduation which was going to be in May 2003 to get married so we set a date for Aug 2003. I had to quit my job so that I could go back to school full time. It was the hardest thing my husband (my fiance at the time) helped me pay my bills even though I lived with my parents, and we slowly started to save money. We started booking everything about 1 1/2 yrs before for the wedding. It was so stressful going through the nursing program with gradutation in May and taking my boards at the end of July only two weeks from my wedding date and planning a wedding but I wouldn't take it back for a minute. If you planned for 2007 then don't change it. Things will work themselves out it, will be tough going to school, working part-time and planning a wedding but it is all worth it in the end to marry the man you love.

Re: Need Advice: Wedding/ School/ Work...Should I wait to get married a little longer?

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Posted by lisau18

Your decision is a really hard one. I got engaged in 2000 and then started the nursing program soon after. We decided to wait till after graduation which was going to be in May 2003 to get married so we set a date for Aug 2003. I had to quit my job so that I could go back to school full time. It was the hardest thing my husband (my fiance at the time) helped me pay my bills even though I lived with my parents, and we slowly started to save money. We started booking everything about 1 1/2 yrs before for the wedding. It was so stressful going through the nursing program with gradutation in May and taking my boards at the end of July only two weeks from my wedding date and planning a wedding but I wouldn't take it back for a minute. If you planned for 2007 then don't change it. Things will work themselves out it, will be tough going to school, working part-time and planning a wedding but it is all worth it in the end to marry the man you love.

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