| Posted By |
Message |
Sweetpea130000
TIME IS FLYING!!!!
Member since 7/04 4165 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/19/2005 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Riviera @ Massapequa A++++++++++
|
FIL vent and question - UPDATED
So, we sent out invitations to our engagement party this week. We worded in "Please join us in celebrating our engagement"
I get an IM from my FIL this morning saying "I didn't see our names on the invite as giving you the party"
We didn't add their names b/c I didn't want my family to feel bad that they didn't offer to pay for it since we initially were going to pay for it ourselves.
We can always thank them publicly at the party for throwing it for us.
now for the question, was it wrong for us not to include their names on it?
ETA: my FIL is paying
TIA
ETA: UPDATE - so it wasn't about the paying it was about pride, and he was taken aback when we told him that we were going to thank them at hte party, so all is good. Thanks for your help ladies!!!
Message edited 9/24/2004 9:25:06 AM.
|
Posted 9/23/04 9:50 AM 
|
| |
|
DMcK
I love my husband & puppies!
Member since 4/04 5037 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/13/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
|
Re: FIL vent and question
No, you were not wrong. It's so hard because someone always has a gripe. 
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 9:56 AM
|
| |
|
snowprincess805
happily married
Member since 4/04 1941 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/13/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Bourne Mansion
|
Re: FIL vent and question
my parents through ours but i did not put there name on it - i put acue aying instead - i don't think you have to be that formal about who is giving it for an engagement party
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 9:57 AM
|
| |
|
Bunnymonkey
Feels like home to me...
Member since 6/04 4861 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/11/2005 5:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Raphael Vineyards
|
Re: FIL vent and question
i think i am confused - who is paying?
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 10:10 AM
|
| |
|
Sweetpea130000
TIME IS FLYING!!!!
Member since 7/04 4165 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/19/2005 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Riviera @ Massapequa A++++++++++
|
Re: FIL vent and question
Posted by Bunnymonkey
i think i am confused - who is paying?
My FIL is paying.
Message edited 9/23/2004 10:13:45 AM.
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 10:12 AM
|
| |
|
gtsgirl
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 9/03 1165 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/27/2005 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Hamlet Windwatch
|
Re: FIL vent and question
We put Mr. & Mrs. blah blah invite you to celebrate the engagement of us...We did that because they are throwing the party for us. I personally don't think its a big deal but for some people it is. I asked his parents in a round about way what they wanted and I got the impression that they wanted the names on the invite..so its all good..my FI made them and then we sent them.
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 10:19 AM
|
| |
|
DebMaher
The Sassy BRUNETTE
Member since 8/04 6008 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/10/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
|
Re: FIL vent and question
I do not know your in-laws, and you do not know my FI's aunt and we both do not know the annoying relative of other brides on this board but can someone tell me why there is ALWAYS SOMEONE who can take the joyous event of two people joining their lives together and make it instead about stupid ego-driven CRAP?
Message edited 9/23/2004 10:53:09 AM.
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 10:43 AM
|
| |
|
DMcK
I love my husband & puppies!
Member since 4/04 5037 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/13/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
|
Re: FIL vent and question
Posted by DebMaher
I do not know your in-laws, and you do not know my FI's aunt and we both do not know the annoying relative of other brides on this board but can someone tell me why there is ALWAYS SOMEONE who can take the jjoyous event of two people joining their lives together and make it instead about stupid ego-driven CRAP?
I am with you on this one. Why does someone always have to complain? Just pretend to be happy if it is not your day!
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 10:46 AM
|
| |
|
slwh2005
We're having a BABY!!
Member since 9/04 1913 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/8/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Hamlet Wind Watch
|
Re: FIL vent and question
Posted by DebMaher
I do not know your in-laws, and you do not know my FI's aunt and we both do not know the annoying relative of other brides on this board but can someone tell me why there is ALWAYS SOMEONE who can take the joyous event of two people joining their lives together and make it instead about stupid ego-driven CRAP?
I totally agree too. Very petty!!
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 11:44 AM
|
| |
|
Marisa&Brian
Board Fanatic
Member since 2/04 803 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/20/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Watermill
|
Re: FIL vent and question
I don't think you were wrong at all.......How formal could you possibly make an Engagement Party invitation ?? What did he want the whole "Mr and Mrs so and so invite you blah blah ???"
Just keep this little incident in mind for your wedding invites !!! 
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 12:17 PM
|
| |
|
gtsgirl
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 9/03 1165 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/27/2005 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Hamlet Windwatch
|
Re: FIL vent and question
Thats how mine were
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 12:31 PM
|
| |
|
Sweetpea130000
TIME IS FLYING!!!!
Member since 7/04 4165 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/19/2005 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Riviera @ Massapequa A++++++++++
|
Re: FIL vent and question
Posted by Marisa&Brian
I don't think you were wrong at all.......How formal could you possibly make an Engagement Party invitation ?? What did he want the whole "Mr and Mrs so and so invite you blah blah ???"
Just keep this little incident in mind for your wedding invites !!!
I know, I know, but fortunately, I don't think anyone but us will be putting in enough money for us to write anything except "along with their parents, blah blah"
Thanks guys, I thought I was the only one that thought this was a little petty. He's also not usually like this, so that is part of it too.
I think what is bothering me more is that he approached me instead of his son, like I am the only one that made the invites.
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 1:01 PM
|
| |
|
DMcK
I love my husband & puppies!
Member since 4/04 5037 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/13/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
|
Re: FIL vent and question
Posted by Sweetpea130000
Posted by Marisa&Brian
I think what is bothering me more is that he approached me instead of his son, like I am the only one that made the invites.
It's weird - they always seem to go for the bride, no matter which side they are on and how well you normally get along! Good luck
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 1:02 PM
|
| |
|
Sweetpea130000
TIME IS FLYING!!!!
Member since 7/04 4165 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/19/2005 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Riviera @ Massapequa A++++++++++
|
Re: FIL vent and question
It's weird - they always seem to go for the bride, no matter which side they are on and how well you normally get along! Good luck
Thanks, I need it. Haven't told FI about this yet since he is a teacher and I can't get in touch with him, hopefully he can smooth it all over.
We can always thank them in public at the party in a speech.
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 1:04 PM
|
| |
|
mcaula
Bun in the Oven:)
Member since 5/04 1921 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/26/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Chateau La Mer
|
Re: FIL vent and question
That is so true how a relative can take your joyous wedding occasion and turn it into something about them.
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 1:09 PM
|
| |
|
Summer05
We're Married!!!!
Member since 5/04 3789 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/21/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Watermill
|
Re: FIL vent and question
I dont think that it was wrong... and there is nothing you can do about it now so dont worry yourself over it! You will have the chance to thank them at the party.
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 1:57 PM
|
| |
|
DMcK
I love my husband & puppies!
Member since 4/04 5037 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/13/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
|
Re: FIL vent and question
Posted by Sweetpea130000
It's weird - they always seem to go for the bride, no matter which side they are on and how well you normally get along! Good luck
Thanks, I need it. Haven't told FI about this yet since he is a teacher and I can't get in touch with him, hopefully he can smooth it all over.
We can always thank them in public at the party in a speech.
That is a nice way to handle this. It is strange what upsets people. Hang in there, you did nothing wrong
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 2:24 PM
|
| |
|
stacy&joe
Board Fanatic
Member since 4/04 627 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/19/2005 1:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Inn at East Wind
|
Re: FIL vent and question
Posted by DebMaher
I do not know your in-laws, and you do not know my FI's aunt and we both do not know the annoying relative of other brides on this board but can someone tell me why there is ALWAYS SOMEONE who can take the joyous event of two people joining their lives together and make it instead about stupid ego-driven CRAP?
YES!!! Someone who thinks just like me. I have no idea, but if I ever find out the answer, I'll post it! Maybe we should just ask those ego - driven nutballs - "WHY is everything about you?????" 
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 5:52 PM
|
| |
|
Dooodles
My two loves
Member since 7/04 4189 total posts
Wedding Date:
1/15/2005 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Riviera
|
Re: FIL vent and question
I don't think you needed to mention it on the invitation. I would find that tacky truthfully. I think a nice public thank you at the party is a wonderful idea and your FI should mention that to his father.
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 6:52 PM
|
| |
|
Russo'sbride
A year later!
Member since 7/04 1343 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/10/2005 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Russo's On The Bay
|
Re: FIL vent and question
You don't have to mention their names. You do whatever makes you happy. If thats the way you wanted it, thats fine. FI should never of said anything. So did your FI pay for some of the wedding or was it just you and your FH?
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 7:26 PM
|
| |
|
JPC1125
Friendship=the key to marriage
Member since 6/04 5053 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/25/2005 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Crest Hollow
|
Re: FIL vent and question
My In laws totally paid for the party, my mom and dad contributed the cake and favors but on the invites (which my MIL ordered) it simply said
Together with our parents, our names, invite you to celebrate our engagement.
So dont feel bad...i do however cause I didnt even thank them at the party :( plan to make it up big time at the wedding
|
|
Posted 9/23/04 9:28 PM
|
| |
|
Sweetpea130000
TIME IS FLYING!!!!
Member since 7/04 4165 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/19/2005 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Riviera @ Massapequa A++++++++++
|
Re: FIL vent and question - UPDATED
Thanks all!
|
|
Posted 9/24/04 9:25 AM
|
| |
|
DMcK
I love my husband & puppies!
Member since 4/04 5037 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/13/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
|
Re: FIL vent and question - UPDATED
Glad it all worked out!
|
|
Posted 9/24/04 9:49 AM
|
| |
|
gtsgirl
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 9/03 1165 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/27/2005 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Hamlet Windwatch
|
Re: FIL vent and question - UPDATED
I'm glad it worked out Sweetpea...
|
|
Posted 9/24/04 9:51 AM
|
| |
|
Sweetpea130000
TIME IS FLYING!!!!
Member since 7/04 4165 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/19/2005 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Riviera @ Massapequa A++++++++++
|
Re: FIL vent and question - UPDATED
Thanks ladies, me too. Don't need to get on their bad side before we get married.
|
|
Posted 9/24/04 12:48 PM
|
| |
|
