A sorta vent (kinda long)..and question about what I should do?

So on Saturday I went to my cousin's baby shower. Got to see a lot of family which was cool, since it was the first time I got to see them since I got engaged.

Anyhoo, my dad's other cousin, who he was very very close to growing up, as they have gotten older, not as close, but we all still see each other at family things, and some holidays, not annually but still enough to say they are def NOT distant.

SO here is my beef, last month this same cousin's son got married, and we heard through the grapevine, the wedding is small, and yada yada (we were told less than 100), that's why my parents were NOT invited. But meanwhile a cousin no one EVER SEES, was! For me personally, I don't mind not being invited, I am friendly with her son, but not close at all, growing up I hardly ever saw him or his brother, it wasn't until we were older that we got to know each other. But I do feel my parents should have been invited, they even invited my aunt, who lives in Arizona and were pretty sure wouldn't come (they atleast extended her the invite, but not my parents)

Come to find out, they had it in the largest room at the hall, and had 150 people, it was not a small wedding at all!

So here is my question, my dad feels we should be the "bigger" people and invite them, I say screw that! No way! What would you do?

It's interesting, if I could just invite her husband who I ADORE!, he is the sweetest man, I would but that would be RUDE, so it's either invite them or not invite them.

It was interesting, when I asked the cousin about the wedding, she couldn't even look me in the face..

Message edited 8/15/2004 2:27:01 AM.

Re: A sorta vent (kinda long)..and question about what I should do?

i wouldnt invite them - i mean serously they were rude if they want to cut you out of their festivites then they get the like -

Re: A sorta vent (kinda long)..and question about what I should do?

I think by definition this saves you one invite!! In other words, I completely agree with you and I think this entitles you to NOT invite them, and you should NOT be considered rude for not inviting them. I don't think it would make you the lesser person either.

Re: A sorta vent (kinda long)..and question about what I should do?

I think you should invite them.. why stoop to their level.. Easier to have them there, then not and worry about what the outcome would be and starting some stupid family thing.

Re: A sorta vent (kinda long)..and question about what I should do?

I wouldn't invite them! JMO

In the end, not only were you guys not invited but they lied to you about it.

Re: A sorta vent (kinda long)..and question about what I should do?

Seriously, why play this tit for tat game? You're an adult right? Just because someone doesn't invite you to their wedding doesn't mean you shouldn't invite them. If there was some other reason not to invite them, then sure. But since it appears that there isn't, why be concerned about it. You do not know what the issue was with their wedding. And your father wants to invite them. If you care about him and money ins't an issue, then be a bigger person and invite them.

Re: A sorta vent (kinda long)..and question about what I should do?

I wouldn't invite them either. They didn't think enough to extend an invite then why should you?

Re: A sorta vent (kinda long)..and question about what I should do?

i think you need to invite who you want to invite - not based on previous weddings.....

Re: A sorta vent (kinda long)..and question about what I should do?

I think you should invite them. They probably won't attend and then they will probably send a gift and you will have the upperhand. It's a little childish, but apparently, you are not dealing with grown-ups.

Re: A sorta vent (kinda long)..and question about what I should do?

You don't have to invite anyone to your wedding - invite whomever you want to invite. If you feel they insulted your parents by not inviting them, and this upsets you, don't invite them. You want to be surrounded by people you love and who love you on your wedding day - base your decision on that.

Re: A sorta vent (kinda long)..and question about what I should do?

I say it was rude what they did and If It were me, I doubt I would invite them, BUT if you like the husband enough, if you want them there, then go ahead....I still think I wouldnt...I mean you werenr invited to theirs and 150 people is NOT a small wedding...thats how Im doing my list....

Re: A sorta vent (kinda long)..and question about what I should do?

my dad always used to say that when somebody wrongs you, you should "kill them with kindness". i've tried it out in situations like this and it really works. so i would invite them - it gives you the upper hand. they will have nothing bad to say about you to the rest of the family. on the contrary, it makes them look bad to everyone, and it will probably make them feel so much worse than if you hadn't invited them.