Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

I have a little problem. My family wants me to honor my aunt who was very influential in my life) at the ceremony-Nothing big, just acknowledgement.
I on the other hand think it is more important to honor my FH deceased father.
But doing both would be just out of hand, I dont want it to be too depressing-After all I am getting married.
Opinions??

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

Are you having programs? I was thinking about honoring my grandmothers and my FH's grandfather at the end of the program. Like a dedication: Dedicated in loving memory to...

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

We are writing someting in the program then we are placing a single rose next to my mother-in-law to honor my fh father.

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

I plan on honoring our great parents by having a dedication to them on the program. Something like this I think....

"To Those not with us today, Our Great Grandparents whom we love and remember fondly:
John and Jane Doe
Jane Smith
You will forever live in our hearts and are present today in spirit".

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

We did not honor them at the ceremony, but we did at the reception. We had one taper candle for dh brother and one for his father at our table. The only people who new about it were use and my MIL.

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

Im getting pressure to honor this one and that one, well you have to mention so and so but you know what Im in my 30's unfortunately I have 3 on my side and 4 on FH side I think its nuts to have announce all. I can see the grandparents and of course my FH mother but cousins and uncles? I dont know if Im being harsh but to me its tooooo much.

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

We are having names mentioned during the ceremony...the rabbi wanted the names to be mentioned during the ketubah signing but we wanted it during the ceremony. If you dont feel comfortable with that put the names in a special section of your program if you are having one.

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

I was at a wedding on Sunday and they just asked for a moment of silence in rememberance of 2-3 of the bride and groom's family members (mentioned by name). Wasn't out of hand at all, I thought it was really nice actually.

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

Are you having a Catholic cermony? If you are having a full mass, there will be the prayer for the faithful, and there is a part for remeberign the decesead, & you cold leave it general, but sicen you have peopel close to you, you can mention their names.
I'm not sure if they do that if it is just a ceremony.

You could also do a candle lighting if the church will let you, and just have 2 candles, mention both names & do it all at once.

Message edited 8/3/2004 9:21:20 AM.

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

Honey, do both. It's not out of hand. These are people who are important to you. We will be honoring my fiance's father in some manner, not sure how yet.

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

I am having a full mass and on the back of the program we honored my grandfather and his grandfather who have died. We wrote:
This Mass is being offered
In loving memory of
Mr. ...........................
and
Mr.............................

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

I am having a Memorial Candle dedicated to our grandparents. It will just read.....
"In Memory of our Grandparents in Heaven"

We both have one of our grandma's alive but lost both grandpa's and a grandma each.

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

We were actually thinking of honoring hubby's grandpa but were given a word of caution from her hubby/FIL. His mom is a very emotional woman and felt that a verbal announcement would be difficult to hear on a day she was sopposed to be happy. So we opted not to since it made her feel uncomfortable to be reminded.

On the other hand I have seen both the programs (more common) and verbal respects paid and it was fine. I think before you do just ask those closest to the individual if they are comfortable with the gesture emotionally.

Message edited 8/3/2004 10:36:49 AM.

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

We are having a special moment of silence during our ceremony and then we will have a memory table setup int he reception room with pictures of both our fathers and our grandparents. Someone on here had a beautiful poem that we will print and frame for the table as well along with candles.

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

At the reception we had a memory table. It was in the lobby in the beginning of the night and moved into the reception next to us during the reception. I received a lot of compliments about it. It was off in a corner so those who didn't want to look at (since it was sad) didn't have.

Let me know if you want to see pictures of it.

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

I will mention both because they were so important inourlives.

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

my step-sister and both of our moms are deceased. so we are going to ight a candle for my stepsister at the ceremony in the church (have the preist say who it is for) and then for our mothers we got donation cards made up instead of giving favors. since both of our moms died of cancer we are making a donation to the american cancer association and the cards will state that. i wanted to honor all of them

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

Both of our Dads have passed away. So at our ceremony we had pictures of both on them on the alter with candles. They where also mentioned in the prayers of the faithful and we mentioned them on our programs. I know it seems like a lot but it really wasn't.

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

The priest said literally one or two sentences at the beginning of the ceremony. It was pertinent and did not spoil the mood.

We also put this in the program (partly stolen from a bride)...

As we begin this new chapter in our lives,
we remember our friends and family members who are no longer with us,
especially:
My grandparents Joe Smith and Jane Smith
and
John Doe and Mary Doe (July 9, 1912 – June 12, 1996)

His grandparents Joe Smith and Jane Smith and
grandmother Mary Doe (August 23, 1924 – April 1, 2004)
Though we cannot see them, we know they are here;
though we cannot touch them, we feel the warmth of their smiles.

People thought it was very sweet and didn't miss the point (one recent death and another on the date of our wedding 7 years earlier).

I hope this helps!

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

Yes, hopefully a memory candle at our ceremony and a mention of those who are with us "in spirit" as well as their names and a poem in the program

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

i had my father and my dh grandparents remebered in the service. i also mentioned them in the wedding program. i wrote a letter to my father and it was on the back of th eprogram. i also had a tribute slideshow to music at the reception and it was lovely. fm me if you want to see it

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

My fiance and I have quite a few people that we want to honor who have passed on, so we are encourporating a moment of silence to honor the ancestors who have passed; very native american, but it works in with our Earth-Spiritual ceremnoy. Perhaps you could do the same type of thing, and just have a moment of silence. We figured that if we named one, then there would always be another and antoher, and then there is the "why didn't they mention my mom" problem. This way, everyone can think of who they want to , and all get honored.

Re: Anyone Honoring a deceased family member at the wedding ceromony?

My mother is getting bagpipe for our ceremony as a tribute to my grandparents who have passed away.. I am going to include a small message about it in the program