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suven
Sunny skies on my wedding day!
Member since 8/03 5968 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/30/2004 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Leonard's of Great Neck: A
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How to write a thank you card to people you don't like...
Any thoughts?
I have the bridesmaid from hell. For the photo, I'm giving her a copy of the one where her middle finger is up, in front of the church during a group photo.
Then, there's the other BM who sent me a VERY nasty email upon my return from the honeymoon. For her, I'm thinking about something along the lines of, "when you get married, we will wish for you to receive as warm of a welcome as we received upon returning from your honeymoon."
Edited to say: I know that I should be more mature than this. And, usually I am. It's just that I worked SO HARD on this wedding and saved and sacrificed SO MUCH for 2 years. Only to have these girls disrespect EVERYTHING about the day...And, it's all on video and film.
They are my DH's cousins. He told me not to have them in the bridal party because they've always been difficult. I just thougth that I had a good relationship with them and that it would be okay. Well, it wasn't...
Message edited 7/21/2004 9:33:26 PM.
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Posted 7/21/04 7:13 PM 
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jannshari
Insert Witty Title Here
Member since 8/03 2781 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/15/2004 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Garden City Hotel
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Re: How to write a thank you card to people you don't like...
If you really don't care what they or anyone else who may see the thank you thinks about you, go for it. Otherwise, stick with bare bone minimum phoney stuff or just don't send one at all.
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Posted 7/21/04 8:19 PM
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May2704bride
And I'm supposed to say wha???
Member since 9/03 1073 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/27/2004 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow
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Re: How to write a thank you card to people you don't like...
Posted by jannshari
If you really don't care what they or anyone else who may see the thank you thinks about you, go for it. Otherwise, stick with bare bone minimum phoney stuff or just don't send one at all.
My sentiments exactly 
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Posted 7/21/04 10:56 PM
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matron
Wiggles and Rascal
Member since 3/04 2002 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/7/2002 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Vineyard Caterers
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Re: How to write a thank you card to people you don't like...
What exactly happened to make you so mad? What did she write in the email? I'd just stick to the regular thank you and cut off ties afterward. Not worth a family blow-out IMO. My response may change if we have details.
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Posted 7/21/04 11:24 PM
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suven
Sunny skies on my wedding day!
Member since 8/03 5968 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/30/2004 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Leonard's of Great Neck: A
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Re: How to write a thank you card to people you don't like...
Posted by matron
What exactly happened to make you so mad? What did she write in the email? I'd just stick to the regular thank you and cut off ties afterward. Not worth a family blow-out IMO. My response may change if we have details.
I'll attach a link to my old post about the Bridesmaid from hell. After doing everything that she did, she went and lied to my mother in law about it. As luck would have it, once I got my raw footage and proofs back, it was obvious that she behaved like a monster, and then tried to lie about it.
for the other one (they are cousins who claimed to dislike each other for years), they were like 2 peas in a pod. They never helped with anything. The night before the wedding, they wanted my niece to stay with them, and then they ditched her in the hotel hallway when they saw one of my friends come by. My niece was very upset and it became quite an ordeal...
After I got back from the honeymoon, the second cousin wrote me an email saying that it wasn't their responsibility to watch my niece (which, I never wanted them to do- they insisted because they were using her to carry their luggage upstairs and then ditched when when she was done)
She also said that my niece was never upset, that I am a liar, and asked what they did to deserve all of this nonsense. She then ragged on my mom, referring to her husband as "her significant other" . My mother was nothing but nice to these girls. She never asked them for anything, so even paid for their shoes to be dyed. They never even thanked her...
bridesmaid from hell
Message edited 7/22/2004 8:38:19 AM.
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Posted 7/22/04 8:33 AM
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HearzBellz
Always a bridesmaid 3x over
Member since 4/03 10389 total posts
Wedding Date:
1/9/2004 1:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Harbor Club
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Re: How to write a thank you card to people you don't like...
Posted by suven
Any thoughts?
I have the bridesmaid from hell. For the photo, I'm giving her a copy of the one where her middle finger is up, in front of the church during a group photo.
Then, there's the other BM who sent me a VERY nasty email upon my return from the honeymoon. For her, I'm thinking about something along the lines of, "when you get married, we will wish for you to receive as warm of a welcome as we received upon returning from your honeymoon."
Edited to say: I know that I should be more mature than this. And, usually I am. It's just that I worked SO HARD on this wedding and saved and sacrificed SO MUCH for 2 years. Only to have these girls disrespect EVERYTHING about the day...And, it's all on video and film.
They are my DH's cousins. He told me not to have them in the bridal party because they've always been difficult. I just thougth that I had a good relationship with them and that it would be okay. Well, it wasn't...
I am loving the fact that you are using that pic as the TY......that will burn her a$$ after she made you seem like a liar & a petty b#$&
As far as the second one....I do not know what happened there, but I might maybe take away the "upon returning from your HM" I think ou will make your point without it & it shows a bit more finesse
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Posted 7/22/04 8:55 AM
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eroxgirl
Mr. & Mrs. Eroxs
Member since 11/02 6602 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/19/2004 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
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Re: How to write a thank you card to people you don't like...
"JILL"would NOT get a thank you from me. After reading that whole thing, I think I'd kill her. Seriously. Or else the thank you would say something like "Thank you for your childish attempts to sabotage my wedding. Fortunately, you only succeeded in making yourself look like an angry, bitter woman in front of your entire family. We'll all be watching the video out MIL's house soon so we can all have a good laugh at you, I hope you join us!"
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Posted 7/22/04 3:49 PM
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WeddingsRock
Board Fanatic
Member since 10/03 609 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/17/2001 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: How to write a thank you card to people you don't like...
Sometimes in life you have to let things go. It is important to realize that these people are so insignifigant in your life and to let them occupy space in your mind is just unhealthy. Concentrate on the good things about your wedding, about the life you are going to share with your husband, and the future of what tomorrow brings. People who do mean things like that are a sorry bunch that will always remain mean and alone. Send a thank you in the most pleasant way possible and move on with it.
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Posted 7/24/04 1:35 AM
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june262004
PMS POSSE
Member since 1/03 12013 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/26/2004 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Swan Club. Rosyln Harbor L.I. FM for details!
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Re: How to write a thank you card to people you don't like...
JILL is CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!! OMG what a nut job. Ohh Jill would so get a nice long thank you and that picture. Considering she called u a liar. I CANT BELIEVE SHE 34 MY 15 YEAR OLD COUSIN ACTS BETTER THEN THAT!!!!!!!!!!
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Posted 7/25/04 8:28 PM
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palebride
Intercourse knows no season...
Member since 6/03 12375 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/3/2004 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Watermill
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Re: How to write a thank you card to people you don't like...
it sounds to me like Jill has enough problems of her own...i'd send her a thank you with the picture of her sticking up her middle finger and write something like "thanks for making my wedding day a memorable one"
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Posted 7/25/04 9:56 PM
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june262004
PMS POSSE
Member since 1/03 12013 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/26/2004 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Swan Club. Rosyln Harbor L.I. FM for details!
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Re: How to write a thank you card to people you don't like...
Posted by palebride
it sounds to me like Jill has enough problems of her own...i'd send her a thank you with the picture of her sticking up her middle finger and write something like "thanks for making my wedding day a memorable one"
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Posted 7/26/04 12:01 AM
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Maribelle7777
It's A Sickness!
Member since 5/03 5699 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/30/2004 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: How to write a thank you card to people you don't like...
Posted by palebride
it sounds to me like Jill has enough problems of her own...i'd send her a thank you with the picture of her sticking up her middle finger and write something like "thanks for making my wedding day a memorable one"
Yes, that's great. I would do that too. LOL
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Posted 7/26/04 10:38 AM
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B2BMay04
Board Fanatic
Member since 10/03 750 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/21/2004 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
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Re: How to write a thank you card to people you don't like...
I am horrified that this Jill caused so much drama the day of your wedding. She sounds like she has serious mental problems. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if you told me she was single. Her actions were probably fuled by jealousy.
Bottom line I try would not stoop to her level and write an angry note. Write something sweet to make her look and feel like the idiot she is. She is an immature and likely thrives on conflict. I would send her a Ty note saying something like
Thank you for being a part of our wedding. We could see that you had a great time for your actions speak just as loud as your words. (Insert picture of her middle finger up) We sincerely wish you the same love and respect in return. Thanks for your wedding gift (if you received one)
Love A & B
The note says thanks but the picture makes her look like a fool. If she shows it to anyone to stir things up it will just make her look stupid. You know I almost hate her for you. !
Lets all get together and kick her a$$!
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Posted 7/26/04 11:28 AM
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tracyg
It's A Sickness!
Member since 1/03 5130 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/9/2004 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: How to write a thank you card to people you don't like...
Def. send her the pic but be sweet in the thank you (make her feel like an a$$)!! that is horrible what she did!!! (i read the detailed post).
have you made sure the rest of her family saw the pic too?
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Posted 7/26/04 11:33 AM
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B2BMay04
Board Fanatic
Member since 10/03 750 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/21/2004 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
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Re: How to write a thank you card to people you don't like...
Oh yeah I would make sure a lot of people see that picture too.
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Posted 7/26/04 11:46 AM
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