i m devastated--i feel like my life is over *UPDATED*

as many of u know i have posted about my boyfriends hesitance on getting married and we had talked and worked things out...i was not going to pressure him and give him time to see what he wanted from life being that we r only 23...well on saturday we had a fight about something really stupid, and then it led us to saying horrible things to each other and then he said he wanted a break from us and was going to move out of our apartment to live at his friends house. we have been together for 3 years and we have lived together for 2. I can not believe this is happening. he is my whole world and i love him more then i love myself. i can not imagine my life without him in it and now we have not talked since saturday even tho he promised to call last nite to talk more about things. i m scared that this is the end, i dont know how im going to live day to day w/o him when for so long i lived my life with him, i feel like i wana die, the pain is that bad. i feel like i have lost my best friend, my lover, my everything..the ache in my chest is so bad i could just kill myself. even when my father passed away the pain did not feel this real. i went to my moms ghouse to sleep b/c i can not bare the thought of being in the aprtment i share with him alone. everything is a reminder of us, and i just wanna die..i dont know whats going to happen to us now, maybe he just needed some time to think, but i m devastated and just wanted to share what has happened. thanks for all the past advice. -Michelle

UPDATED--
me and him talked yesterday and he told me i m his best friend and he loves me but he needs to b alone to find out where he is going in life and that he is sorry he is ripping us apart. he definitly loves me but unfortauntly i can see that for now, it is not ment to be. he will b moving out by the end of the week and we r splitting the things we owned together. we r signing a contract to prevent further problems. i m so heart broken but i m trying to cope and just think positively. thank you for all the kind words and fm's i really appreciate it all. i m terrifed to go back to the apartment that we shared, that is covered in pics of us and b there all alone so im staying at my moms until he moves out and then she is helping me redecorate. deep down he is a wonderful man who has a lot of selfishness to overcome and a lot of growing up to do. and i pray and pray that maybe one day we will b in the same place in life. my heart aches with this unbearable heartache but i hope with each passing moment that things will work themselves out.

Message edited 6/15/2004 9:47:17 AM.

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

I am so sorry sweetie. Dont worry, you have to talk first before you jump to conclusions that it is over. You said the fight was over something stupid, and sometimes all the bad feelings come pouring out when you fight. I am sure when you talk, things will work out. But dont ever think that you love him more then yourself. You have to love and know yourself before you give yourself to someone else, especially for the rest of your life. We are here for you!

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

i don't know what to say, but i hope things work out.

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

first of all let me say that i am sorry things got this way but i think the problem is just what you said "i love him more than myself". sometimes dealing with things is about finding out who you are and loving yourself first. I went through the same thing with a past boyfriend and you know what, if it was easy for him to walk out and leave me that way then why was i allowing myself to dye inside. everything happens for a reason and sometimes when we think that things are carved in stone, they are just another lesson for us to learn. you have to put yourself first before you can see anything else for what it is. i feel your pain because i have been there and you know what was the best thing....it forced me to realize who i was and what i wanted and i got to know who i was really for the first time. Good luck to you and i hope everything works out for the best. sorry for the long post but this hits close to home for me too.

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

I'm so sorry to hear that....I hope everything works out, but don't jump to conclusions yet...

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

There is nothing any of us can say to take away your pain. But please do not consider death over the happiness that life can bring.

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please make sure to put YOURSELF first!! That is key!!!!!!

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

i'm sorry that you're in so much pain. i hope that you turn to the people in your life that love you and support you. they will be a source of comfort. and maybe he'll surprise you and reach out.

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

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Posted by Mrs.Miller2b

first of all let me say that i am sorry things got this way but i think the problem is just what you said "i love him more than myself". sometimes dealing with things is about finding out who you are and loving yourself first. I went through the same thing with a past boyfriend and you know what, if it was easy for him to walk out and leave me that way then why was i allowing myself to dye inside. everything happens for a reason and sometimes when we think that things are carved in stone, they are just another lesson for us to learn. you have to put yourself first before you can see anything else for what it is. i feel your pain because i have been there and you know what was the best thing....it forced me to realize who i was and what i wanted and i got to know who i was really for the first time. Good luck to you and i hope everything works out for the best. sorry for the long post but this hits close to home for me too.

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Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

I also agree with MrsMiller2be - you must put yourself first sometimes. This a time to rely on friends and family - don't be alone - let people who love you comfort you. I believe in devine intervention. Sometimes we can't see why things happen - but you will be happy again - maybe with him or maybe without him. Good luck!!!

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

MrsMiller2b gave you very sound advice. I was also in a very similar situation where I really believed that my boyfriend at the time was the person I was supposed to marry. I went through a really really rough time afterwards (actually, it started during the relationship, which was what ultimately ended it) where I didn't think I would ever fully recover. But, now that I am 5 years removed from the breakup, I see what the reason was for having him in my life and I am so much happier now than I ever could have been with him, and I'm sure the same goes for him. Time is the best healer so give yourself that.

If you are really having thoughts of hurting yourself, PLEASE talk to someone. There are plenty of crisis hotlines and counselors out there that can help. NOTHING is worth hurting yourself over.

Message edited 6/14/2004 11:41:24 AM.

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

I just wanted to say, that I know how you feel and even though the pain is imaginable right now, things will get better. The things that hurt us only make us stronger!!

Be with people who will hug you and listen to you and support you.
I am a true believer that things happen for a reason, and he may not have been the best person for you. Your prince could be on the horizon. Keep your chin up and i know it may be hard, but try to think positive and focus on yourself. NOw is the time to be selfish!!

Many to you!

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

Well from reading different posts of yours, it seems like your relationship has been rocky for quite some time. I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but maybe taking a break from each other is the best thing right now. Yes, we all fight with our significant others, but not as often as we get along. You have been with your BF for 3 years, and maybe one of you or both of you has changed during that time, and the relationship no longer works as it used to. I'm so sorry you're hurt right now, but take things as they come and turn to those who love you to get through this rough time.

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I agree with all the great advice you just got. First talk to him and see where his head is at. It may be time for you to think of you.
Talk to your family and friends and loved ones and please know that somehow you can get through this. Good Luck!

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

I am so sorry that you are going through this pain!! But you have to be realistic in this matter and try to not focus on the devastation of heartbreak. It sounds as if your relationship was heading for this break-up. You Both are SOOOOO YOUNG! I think that it is best that you both have time away from this and you have to not think about what this person meant to your life, he does not make your life, your world. It may feel like that now, I've been there, I was sooooo crushed and depressed with my first love, when we split, I didn't know what to do with myself and just wanted to sit in a dark room and cry, It happens to all of us. BUT THAT IS WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT, heart break and happiness, you will get through this and you will realize that you can handle anything. Your heart will repair itself and LOVE AGAIN!! It is not the end of the world, it is a new begining. Your are Worth SO MUCH with or without this person, it is so sad that HE CANNOT SEE YOUR WORTH!! Please spend time with friends and family - stay overnight at there houses so that you aren not alone in the apartment that you shared - that will kill you! Just be away from your place - do not wait and panic to hear from your boyfriend - it will drive you hysterical if he doesn't respond. Just keep busy and turn to your friends and family and cry on their shoulders. It will help.

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

First of all, you sound like a sweetheart. Also- you guys must have much love to have even considered getting married, the boyfriend too. I was with mine for 5yrs before he finally asked! We have lived together for 4yrs. The first 3yrs were tramatic and I've thrown the ring back in his face already! We just fight like that sometimes and then laugh it off. Maybe you just (I know you don't want to hear this) young and stupid when you fight, get crazy and then need a few days to cool off. I had to learn how to fight too. Take it from another young and stupid fighter, at least a formal one.
Good Luck. Try to not get too emotional when you speak to him so you can explain yourself, and above all don't put all the blame on yourself or him, just try to come to a compromise. We are all hear for you and have been there.

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

Just remember no man is worth thinking of killing yourself. NO MAN!

I hope things work out.

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

Please don't do anything to hurt yourself. It is not worth it. I understand the pain is unbearable, but you need to talk to him and work things out. After that whatever happens happens. but do not do anything to hurt yourself. There are plenty of people on here to talk to including myself.

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

My heart really aches for you. I know this must be an extremely hard time for you. I truly hope that things work out between the two of you if that's whats best for the both of you.
If it doesn't.......I am so sorry. It will be very rough. You will have to try your best to focus on the positive, gather support from your family and friends, and above all stay as busy as possible! The worst possible thing is to mope around.

Please don't hurt yourself. We care about you and are here if you need to chat!

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

Someone else mentioned calling a crisis hotline - if you are seriously thinking about hurting yourself, you can call 1-800-SUICIDE to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24-7. It's a nationwide number. For more information you can visit http://suicidehotlines.com/.

Re: i m devastated--i feel like my life is over

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Posted by m&m

Someone else mentioned calling a crisis hotline - if you are seriously thinking about hurting yourself, you can call 1-800-SUICIDE to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24-7. It's a nationwide number. For more information you can visit http://suicidehotlines.com/.

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