Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

well, I'll try to make this as short as possible...

My dad and I have never had a great relationship.. we were always more like "friends".. well, there was a time about 2 years ago, where we didn't talk to eachother for over a year.. My grandma got really sick, and all she wanted was for us to talk again.. So me being the "child" but still the more mature one, called my dad, and we've been fine.. well, I called him about the wedding, and told him that my mom and I were blocking hotel rooms, and wanted to know if they would want a hotel.. he SAID "NO, if we even go we'll drive back to ITHACA after the wedding" I can't stand that place.. I hate going out there.. If I have to go, I am turning around and driving back... UGHH!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am beside myself.. That completely hurt me.. I said well, then you'll miss the brunch and he said, he just can't do it, and then he said do you want to talk to your brother, and got off the phone.. Well, one good thing about this is that , I was undecided what I was going to do about my dad or step dad walking me down the aisle.. Now I am happy I can have my step dad.. Also, My step dad called me and told me that him and my mom would like to pay for half of the hall!!!! MY STEP DAD.. my real dad won't even come to the wedding.. I'm embarrassed to say all of this.. but I had to get it out.. sorry it's so long..

Message edited 1/23/2004 8:56:03 PM.

Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

Oh Sweetie at least you have a supportive step dad

Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

I don't think I have anything to say that will make you feel better, but I want you to know I'm sorry you don't have a better Dad. I was going to say a better relationship with your Dad, but a better Dad is what you really need. And, obviously what you deserve, since it sounds like you have a great step Dad. You're lucky to have each other. Your Dad is the one missing out.

Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

Just realize how blessed you are with your step-father

Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

Thanks girls.. I know I am truly blessed to have my step dad.. I love him SO MUCH!!!

Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

not to say anything that might sound wrong but..
my father died 7 years ago now don't get me wrong but i hated my father he drank to much cheated on my mom and alot of other stuff. so i vowed once he left me on my sweet 16th b day(well not so sweet) that i would not talk to him... well in that time till he passed i gave birth to my daughter and vowed again that she would never meet him cuz of what he did to me and my nephew..well then on christmas day we got a call saying you better get down her to florida your father is on his death bed!! i cried and cried, i did not get to go to florida to say my goodbyes nor did i get to talk to him on the phone(which i was going to do the morning he died) he passed and when i got the call i freeked out and cried for days on days and still cry till this day ( as i am now) yes i hated my father for what he did to us but now that i am older i just wish i had the chance to make up with my father! i miss him sooo much and with getting married it is the hardest thing to do with out him! i realized that i should have made up with him sooner and not let him go thinking i hate him!
he never told us how sick he was so we had no idea of it happening till it was to late! sorry this is so long! i have been thinking about him for the past few days now alot and i releized that my daddy will not be walking me down. and i wish i did! i am glad to hear you have a great step dad as i do but it never replaces your daddy!

Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

honey, same thing with my life... my fi dad is not even comijng to the wedding... hell be "traveling" hes a real ass$#!@... they have had issues but nothing that would warrant a no show. my fi is so upset... and its his STEPDAD and mom who are giving us money for the wedding and paying for our rehearsal dinner and just basically are there for us...
edit to say i know what you are going through and feel.

Message edited 1/23/2004 10:14:52 PM.

Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

Janet

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! i miss him sooo much and with getting married it is the hardest thing to do with out him! i

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Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

I'm so sorry you have to deal with so much hurt

Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

I'm sorry to hear that about your dad!!

Step-parents are sometimes more like a real mom or dad and would do anything for you.. and then you have the real parent that just isn't there for you the way you wish they could be...

I am going to become a step-mom and I hope when my future daughters get older that they still love me as much as they do today... I may be biased here, but I really think that the person that has taken care of you all your life should be considered your parent.. not the person that shows up every once in a while or calls when they feel like it.. Hopefully your dad changes his mind and goes to your wedding, but if not, then you still have another father who loves you just as much... if not more than your biological dad! JMO..

Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

You know what -- forget him!! You obviously have wonderful parents !!!

Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

aww Crystal

You are right...you are the KID and you are the MATURE one...if he misses his daughters big day, then he is an Ass! Sorry, but thats how I feel! You are the bigger and better person, and altho it will hurt for him not to be there, you are better off to enjoy your day with the people who CARE....

You are very blessed to have such an awesome StepDad, and he wants to do whats right, I am sure that to him, you are much more than a STEP Daughter.....

Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

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Posted by July2004Bride
Step-parents are sometimes more like a real mom or dad and would do anything for you.. and then you have the real parent that just isn't there for you the way you wish they could be...

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Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

I am truly sorry your dad is doing this. I have had many problems with my father and my wedding throughout the whole planning process. I have posted many vents about him. But, as we are so close now, he has sorta come around. I think when we got into one of our fights one day and I left hysterically cryng and telling him not to bother coming to my wedding, he kind of woke up. Unfortunately there is nothing much you can do, if he doesn't want to be there and be happy, than screw him. It sounds like you have a wonderful man there that has really stepped up to the plate and been there for you all along. Its funny, stepdads know more about being a true father than our own biological fathers. What ever happens, try not to let it get to you.(even though I know its hard) You will still have a perfect wedding day and will be marrying the love of your life.
Good Luck!!

Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

thanks girls!!! He is an a$$$hole but i thought maybe this would be different!!!! Obviously NOT!!!! My step-mother, said that she wanted to try to "talk" him into going.. UMM>> NO DON'T BOTHER!!!!!!!! UGGHHH!!!!

Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

Re: Listen to how messed up this is.. vent about my dad!!!!

I'm sorry you had to got thru that. Maybe he doesn't realize how horrible he sounds and how selfish he's being and maybe he'll come around!?!?!? It's nice to know that your stepdad is so supportive of you though!! He and your mom must really love you to offer to pay for 1/2 of your hall. Sometimes we don't get to choose our families but it's nice that you have someone that you have that role with and a nice relationship!! Good luck!