family issues-why are they such pains???

Hi. Well, we got less than seven months to go and still soooo much to do. we got engaged last june. he was so sweet about it. we had met with a jeweler about the ring, so i knew it was coming eventually and the week he did it, i was suspicious b/c he was acting so funny, but the day he did it was a surprise and it was so human and endearing-he bumped me in the head with his umbrella as he knelt. ANYWAY, before he asked, he went to my family (mom, grandparents, even father whom i don't have the best relationship with and parents are divorced and blah blah blah). well, no one has really made a big deal about the engagement. we didn't have a party because i didn't want people to think it was all about gifts. however, nobody on my side has even sent a card (except for 3 people). when it comes to expenses, everyone is free to tell me what i should do, but less than free to help out. and please don't think all i want is money, i am not like that. it's just they know how expensive this all is, i am not in the best shape financially, i have a huge college loan, we would elope but that would hurt everyone, we can't have a destination wedding b/c my mom won't fly anyway, and when i say how expensive it is to have all my neices and nephews there b/c my mom is beggin me to have them (and they are really good kids, i don't NOT want them there, i love them) i don't get a "hey don't worry, we'll help you out". Please don't get me wrong = i LOVE my family but lately they have not been showing the support. my fh feels so not wanted and welcome by them (except my mom) and i hate that. anyway, i am not asking for advice but rather that i am not alone. it's not father of the bride over here. i'm lucky if it is a griswold/national lampoon wedding.
i just feel a bit bummed about this happy occasion if you know what i mean.

Re: family issues-why are they such pains???

KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH THINGS WILL COME TOGETHER! MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO YOUR SISTERS AND BROTHERS ABOUT THE KIDS ! I HAVE UNFORT. 7 NEICEA AND NEPHEWS IM MY WEDDING PARTY BUT SEICE THERE WAS SO MANY MY SISTERS HELP PAY AND SO DID MY MOM! TRUST ME IT WAS A CONCERN OF MINE TOO HAVING THEM THERE AND IF THERE ARE MORE THEN 3 AT THE WEDDING I HAVE LEARNED THAT YOU BARLY NOTICE THEM THERE THEY HAVE THERE OWN FUN! AS TO THE MONEY TRY DOING WHAT I DID GO TO EXPOS AND TRY TO GET STUFF THAT SHOULD HELP.. MAKE STUFF YOUR SELF ON THE COMPUTER AND FOR FAVORS YOU CAN GO TO A DOLLAR STORE BELEIVE IT OR NOT ALOT WILL GO BUT NEVER ADMIT TO IT!
RIGHT NOW WE ARE HAVING A HARD TIME PAYING OFF THE HM AND WE ARE SCARED WE ARE GOING TO LOSE IT! BUT I KNOW IT WILL WORK OUT SOME HOW IT ALWAYS DOES! REMEMBER WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!

Re: family issues-why are they such pains???

im sorry your having problems with that..
it may perhaps be a blessing in disguise... my family(with exception of dad) will have no problem bashing me, an idea i have, a style of clothing(and ive been conservative).. yet they have helped us with the money. I would rather have love and support than any of the money. from the begining my mom and grandmother have told my fh not to get me pregnant(knowing full well im not doing that).. have bashed me in front of him, and said other things to make him uncomfortable...
your not alone... i also feel i have the griswold family(we love watching those movies cause we can laugh at them then)