Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

Well, I should say my MIL's family is saying this. She told us last night that people were asking why the church is at 3 and cocktail hour isnt til 6. I feel like no one can be happy. Oh well, I need some time to take pictures and even so, the latest church slot available is 3. MIL offered to have people go to her house but we need her at Westbury Manor to take pics w/ us. Anyone else have anyone complain about this? I thought it was good times.

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

Don't worry, your times are fine. Sometimes a member of the family will open their house up between the wedding and reception. We are actually opening ours for anyone who wants to come, my friends mom is going to lock and unlock the house. I haven't been to a wedding in the last few years where there wasn't a two or three hour gap.

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

I am sure people always complain, but your time gap isn't bad at all. I have almost the same. Church 3:15 and cocktail hour at 6:30. Are you having a full mass? That would take some time, then receiving line if you are doing one. Plus, you want to leave time to take pictures. One possibly since you want your MIL at WM is that the guests can go there too. They have the restaurant there where people can sit and have a drink. Just a thought? Or maybe another relative can host something at their house? Or close up the house for your MIL when she leaves to take pictures.

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

Well I am in the same boat. No one is complaining but I am thinking about it. My ceremony is a 3:30 and the reception is at 6:30. I think they are good times for picture taking but I wonder what my guests are gonna do with all that time in between. I am really trying to think of what they could do. I may just puch the ceremony back, because we are not going to the cocktail hour anyway so we could take pictures then.

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

Thats a good idea about the Westbury Manor bar. Maybe my MIL will let them go to her house anyway when she takes pics. I wanted to try to make my cocktail hour so I was happy that I had alot of time in between for pics. They were saying they havent been to weddings w/ so much time in between. Are they nuts?

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

Your times are just fine... Our ceremony was at 3 and the cocktail hour at 6.. by the time you get out of the church and what not.. trust me it will fly.. PLUS, you want more than enough time to take pics.. so just ignore everyone..

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

Don't worry about it. And don't let it become your problem. Your MIL's family can either host something at their home or they can always pass time at a bar, diner, etc.

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

I have the same time schedule as you. It is not your problem to worry about what others are going to do in between. I am sure this is not the first wedding they have been to. In the past when I went to a wedding that had a gap I went dressed down to church and then went home to get ready. They can go to a bar or something, or go hang out at a hotel. My family is all going back to the hotel and they are going to hang out at the bar til the shuttle starts at 5:30 to take them to the hall.
Here is one suggestion if your worried about this. Friends of my mothers had booked the bar at a local hotel for the break in between the church and reception for their daughters wedding. They charged them like $250-400 for drinks, and little snacks of cheese and crackers and stuff. I think it was a holiday inn that they set this up with. But again, I don't think its your problem to worry about what they are going to do. They can go out and hang at a bar for a little while and then they could head over to the reception at like 5:30. There really is not that big of a time gap.

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

Your times are fine and it will go fast. I had the same time difference and I was even a little rushed taking pictures at the end. I had one family member scream and reprimand me about it to the point I was in tears. There is nothing you can do - church and hall has their rules and to tell you the truth the person who complained the loudest - was someone who told me after the wedding - boy how the times flew by in between. I needed that three hours - by the timw you get out of the ceremony, get to the hall get the bridal party settled and take some pictures - next thing you know your guests are arriving and cocktail hour is starting.

My aunt who lived near the church had a few of my family members over. My MIL hosted a cocktail party (treats and drinks) at the hotel and other made due (either went home or hung out somewhere!).

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

Thanks girls!!! I feel better. Marcella, did you make your cocktail hour at all? I would like to try to go to some of mine.

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

yes a few people told me that too.. but alot of our guests live nearby and we figured they would want to go home anyways

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

that's so funny b/c i am worried that i don't have enough time and my church is at 3 (in queens) and reception at the WM at 6. glad to know everyone thinks the times are fine

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

I have a huge gap - 1:30 mass and 6:30 cocktail but my church is in manhattan and the reception is in LI - I figure that I'll loose some people for the church but that's ok - I'm having a family member open my parent's house to host a small lunch. I wouldn't stress too much about it - someone will always complain about something and its so much more important for you to get the pictures that you like and to enjoy your cocktail hour too!

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

Stop listening to everyone...we can't make everyone happy and that's that. Do what you want and what makes you happy!!!

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

My church is at 3 and my reception is at 7 so we'll have a huge gap also, and you know what= TOO BAD!!! These people are taking 1 day out of their ENTIRE LIFETIME to come and see you get married- and they didnt' have to plan for months or years like we did so a few hours of waiting around won't kill them. My FIL's realized that we weren't going to budge on the time difference so they've decided to open their home to guests for those few hours.
Also, keep in mind that a lot of people that are staying at hotels are going to go back to their rooms and either nap or change and relax, since most of them drove aways to be at your ceremony. And those who don't have a hotel to go to will probably run into someone that they haven't seen in a while and maybe they'll go to a bar or restaurant and just talk for a few hours and have a drink. They're all adults- they'll figure out what to do with a few hours
So, don't worry, everything will be wonderful with the times that you've chosen!

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

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Posted by SReidy

My church is at 3 and my reception is at 7 so we'll have a huge gap also, and you know what= TOO BAD!!! These people are taking 1 day out of their ENTIRE LIFETIME to come and see you get married- and they didnt' have to plan for months or years like we did so a few hours of waiting around won't kill them.
**********


I couldnt have said it better. I felt like saying, then dont come to the church, but I bit my tongue

Message edited 1/13/2004 9:25:01 AM.

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

=) Smart girl!!! I know I sound like a real witch by saying that but it's true- I've spent the last year + trying to make everyone happy but the truth is that we're NEVER going to make EVERYONE happy so we just have to make ourselves happy, right? There are very few things that we actually do for ourselves as far as the wedding goes- that we actually get to take w/ us I mean. The photos, video, honeymoon, and memories... and whatever food and drinks we actaully get to consume is great but we'll be dancing and trying to see everyone so I think there are certain things we need to do for us!!!

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

Believe me your timing is perfect, if not a little too close. It depends if you are having a mass or just a ceremony but I had my church at 3pm (a mass) and the cocktail hour started at 6:30. Between the mass, the greeting line, and pictures at the church, most of our guests were at the church until almost 4:30. The parents and the bridal party went directly to the hall for 5pm to take pictures before the cocktail party. Most people had less than an hour to go home and get changed for the wedding and those who were already dressed went back to my parents house (my mom had my cousins lock up the house). I'm telling you any less than three hours between the church and the cocktail hour is cutting it too close.

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

Our gap was 3 hours. Church was at 5 and cocktail hour at 8. You need that time to take pictures. We took pictures, drove 1/2 hour, took more pictures and made it to our cocktail hour

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

DId anybody's guests complain about the time difference?

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

I was in a wedding that was 2 & 6 30 and peopel complained in advance, but it was fine.
After the full mass & receiveing line and pictures in front of the church it was probbaly after 4, and MOB hosted a little reception at home while Bridal party went to a park for more pictures. We had some to kill there & had a picinic. Family was at MOB's house, friends went to a diner & the hotel they stayed at.

We are having a 3pm church, 7 pm cocktail hour & are considering at 4:30/5-7 open bar in one of the rooms of the Milleridge Inn.
Not sure how to word that in the invitation though.

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

Could she a cousin or sister of hers use her (your MIL) house as open house for anyone that has nothing to do for the gap. So she can be free to do pictures with you and FH?

Or take MIL pictures at the reception if there's a nice area outside and it's still light out so she can be home.

Sorry people are complaining. There's nothing you can do. They'll live.

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

Valentinegirl, your times are fine. My church is at 3:00 also and my cocktail hour starts at 7:00.

That's about the average time between the church and hall, because you need time for pictures and travel time to and from church, pictures, then hall.

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

I'm noticing that people can be really annoying with their opinions on your wedding plans. My new outlook is screw 'em all! If they don't like it -- tough! Don't come! As long as you and FH are happy with the plans, that's what matters most.

My ceremony begins at 2:30 and CH is at 6:30. Your times are fine. Ask the complainers if they prefer that you NOT have any pictures from YOUR wedding so that THEY don't have to wait "too long" until they can start eating the food YOU are paying for.



Sorry for the attitude (not directed at you anyway, directed at people making our wedding planning more stressful) -- I'm just a teeensy bit stressed.

Re: Family is saying we have too much time between church and reception!

Thank you thank you thank you. You all have made me feel so much better. My ceremony is at 2:30 and the reception is at 7. My mother and I have been freaking out about what we should do. The majority of our guests are from out of town. People do complain alot. Traffic, from New Jersey etc..!! I can be frustrating, but also upsetting because I am trying so hard to make everyone have a great and non stressful time.