in tears...the dress continues >>UPDATED: mom just called said to just buy it...

it never stops with the dress...

mom and sister hate it... we were suppose to go on monday to the store and see it. then its not convenient for sister so im suppose to change it to tomorow...the store is booked BOTH days anyways and says ill have to walk in... i call up my Bridesmaid to ask her if she can go(i dont want mom or sister helping me, after the way theyve been critisizing the dress)

SO i call my mom up and tell her what time, she goes did you call your sister, i go no, i called lauren to see if tomorow was ok for her... she goes " why she's seen the dress"... i go i know but i want her to help me put on the dresses" ... she goes " your sister can do that".. i said " I FEEL most comfortable with my BM"..

she goes " Well is your BM buying your dress"

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i said no,... she goes " what are you going to do have your BM in the delivery room with you when you have a baby....
WTF.!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dont feel comfortable having the two people who dislike my dress helping me to put it on.. AND i want the BM there as support for me cause im going to need it against them..

so i got off the phone and now im shaking and actually started crying!... i dont care that they dislike the dress, i just cant stand being put down and criticised, theyve done that most of my life and i cant wait to be married and out of the house where i dont have to put up with this SH*T..


.>>> mom just called, she said she talked to my sister and they both feel its pointless to go tomorow, that ill still buy the dress and to go ahead and just buy it.. she said she'll see it on the wedding day... i asked her if she's sure and she said yes...>>>>>>>>>

Message edited 1/10/2004 10:02:36 PM.

Re: in tears...the dress continues

Sorry you have to deal with all of this. You should really try to sit you mom down and tell her how this is making you feel.

I agree with you i would feel more comfortable if someone was there who was helpful rather than making you feel bad or criticising you.

I say stick to your guns when it comes to the things you like and want

Re: in tears...the dress continues

I don't have any sisters, but I can understand the mother hating the dress thing. I haven't picked out a wedding dress yet. However, I went crazy looking for the "perfect" dress for my engagement party.

I ended up picking a Betsey Johnson dress. It was a little different from my usual style, but very pretty. My mom wasn't thrilled about it at all. But guess what? Everyone at the party absolutely loved it! I got so many compliments!

My point is that family members don't always give the best opions. And I'm sure whatever the dress looks like, you'll make it look georgeous!

Re: in tears...the dress continues

Wow, the older sister/mother team up. I get that ALL the time. I'm so sorry Em!

Re: in tears...the dress continues

i am so sorry that you are still going through this dilemma with mom and sis

i agree with you that you should bring someone you are comfortable with...don't let them get you this upset, you are supposed to be having fun looking for your perfect dress...do not let anyone else ruin this moment for you

Re: in tears...the dress continues

I am SOOOOO sorry that you are going thru this! I had problems with my mother not wanting to go shopping at all with me at first - so I know how important it is to have supportive people with you.

Don't let anyone upset you -if this is the dress of your dreams stick to your guns don't let anyone take that from you - this is YOUR day.

Again I am so sorry that this is happening.

Re: in tears...the dress continues

I am so sorry! Maybe you should sit your mom and your sister down and have a real heart to heart and tell them staright out what they are doing to you emotionally. Tell them that you can't take it anymore and if it continues you will not involve them in anything. I feel so bad for what you are going through. I want to call them up myself and tell them to stop hurting you. I feel so bad that every time I come on here they have done something else to hurt you. If you need to talk please FM me.
Just try to remember that at the end of this long road will be the happiest day of your life and you will be marrying the love of your life. And that it what matters the most!!

Re: in tears...the dress continues

thank you for the support

yesterday I tried to sit down with my mom and talk to her about the dress.. but she just wont listen. she is too busy thinking up what to say next and doesnt listen.. Its tough to not include her because I am still living at home before the wedding, so when I come home to shower and change she keeps trying to give me new ideas..

at least i have supportive liwedding girls, 2 Bm's that care, and a fmil that helped console me tonight.. and thank you jennbaby for your fm! thank you so much!

..... tomorow ill post how the day at the store goes...

Re: in tears...the dress continues

HEY! It's YOUR wedding day! You are the one wearing the dress.....if you love it, then you get it and tell them TOO BAD!

Re: in tears...the dress continues

I got your FM and am writing you back right now

Re: in tears...the dress continues >>UPDATED: mom just called...

updated

.>>> mom just called, she said she talked to my sister and they both feel its pointless to go tomorow, that ill still buy the dress and to go ahead and just buy it.. she said she'll see it on the wedding day... i asked her if she's sure and she said yes...>>>>>>>>>

Message edited 1/10/2004 9:35:18 PM.

Re: in tears...the dress continues >>UPDATED: mom just called...

Emily I am so SORRY that they are both being so childish about this! Get the dress and when EVERYONE tells you how beautiful you look that day give your mom and sister the bigest sarcastic smile ever. YOU LOOKED BEAUTIFULIN THAT DRESS. DON'T BE TO UPSET BOUT IT.

Re: in tears...the dress continues >>UPDATED: mom just called...

I'm sorry you had to go through this. I am happy that at least your mom agreed at the end to let you get the dress

Re: in tears...the dress continues >>UPDATED: mom just called...

WTF is up with them.. ARE THEY WEARING THE DRESS???????????????? NO, is she going to criticize your baby??? Is that not going to be perfect for her.. I understand she is your mom but she is PI$$ING me off.. it's not fair.. YOU GET THE DRESS YOU LOVE... I'm Sorry

Re: in tears...the dress continues >>UPDATED: mom just called...

I am so sorry you have to go through this. I know how it feels to have the people you care about constantly criticize you.

I say all of us LIW girls go with you to buy the dress, so you'll have 200 people supporting you and you can forget about the 2 that don't!!!

Re: in tears...the dress continues >>UPDATED: mom just called...

Em for you! But many I agree, you need support, we will come with you!

Re: in tears...the dress continues >>UPDATED: mom just called said to just buy it...

"Pointless to go, just buy it, I'll see it on the wedding day?"

I am sorry, but that is inapproriate. As your mother, she should be actively involved in your wedding. A non-chalent, "just buy it" is being (IMO) very inconsiderate. You need to voice your concerns to her and tell her that although you appreciate her approval (to purchase the dress), you would also like her to share in your happiness.

Again, this is YOUR wedding. Do not let others make you feel guilty becuase of the choices you choose to make.

Re: in tears...the dress continues >>UPDATED: mom just called said to just buy it...

I can totally relate...my Mom and I have gotten into so many fights planning this wedding that have ended in tears. My Dad is ready to kill us. Remember it will blow over and it will all be forgotten on the wedding day.

Re: in tears...the dress continues >>UPDATED: mom just called said to just buy it...

Its almost as if she's trying to use reverse psychology on you by saying, "Okay, just go and buy it then". I can't even imagine. I have no good advise, except that you need to sit down and talk with your mom and sister and explain how this is all making you feel. Good luck with it all.

Re: in tears...the dress continues >>UPDATED: mom just called said to just buy it...

Wow Em, I just can't understand why they are so opposed to that dress... you looked beautiful! Maybe it's not about the dress. When things cool off I would dig deeper, but for now just go with your gut.

I had a few problems with my parents having a different "vision" for our wedding, and both parties wound up compromising. But all the stuff that really mattered to us we got. Give them other things to think about/ work on and when they are distracted & a little time has passed go back to the dress.

Hope this helps! -V