Invitation question . . . Regarding FH Mother (deceased) With Poll

It will be 14 years since FH's Mother passed away when we get married. On our Wedding invite, would it be appropriate or inappropriate to acknowledge her? His father has been remarried for 10 years now. FH's father's new wife sees him as her own son, however, he does not feel the same (sorry if this sounds awful.) FH was very close with his mother, took care of her when she was dying, and he refers to his stepmother as "my dad's wife." Would we include both his deceased mom and his dad's wife on the invite? Please make suggestions how we would word the above situation on our invite . . . we are truly lost here . . . THANKS AS ALWAYS GIRLS!!!!!!!

Re: Invitation question . . . Regarding FH Mother (deceased) With Poll

this is a really tough decision.. i know because my dad died when i was four years old. my mom remarried when i was about 10 so my stepfather has been part of my life for so very long. At first we thought we would just use

Together with our families

but i really did want to include our parents names on the invitations. but i was not going to put my father'sname because i thought it was a little morbid and i felt as though it was crying for a lot of attention. but that is only my opinion and that is only the way i felt. so we decided to use my mom and stepfathers name and FH's parents name but then in the middle i used my entire full name which included my last name, which of course is not the same as my stepfather and mother. now i know that it is F's mom who is deceased and his name will be the same but ask him how he feels. His stepmother would probably feel horrible if her name was not on the invitation. but maybe he should ask his father his opinion and how he think he should state it. everyone knows who your fh's mother is, no one will assume that is his mother. Just like i know who my dad is. yes i love my stepfather but i was okay with wording it the way i did. I am so sorry that you and FH have to go through this. it is really sad and i completely understand. fh should talk to his dad and maybe they can come to an answer together.

Re: Invitation question . . . Regarding FH Mother (deceased) With Poll

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Re: Invitation question . . . Regarding FH Mother (deceased) With Poll

Hmmm, I lost my dad five years ago and so we went through some similar discussions. First of all, I don't think a deceased person can issue an invitation. I.E. Mr. John Smith and the late Mrs. John Smith request the honour blah blah blah, and I do personally think it sounds morbid to put her name on there.

Therefore, IMHO, I would save the programs or a favor donation as a way to remember your FH's mom. We put a paragrah on the back of our programs saying we remember my dad today and always and know he is with us on this most joyous occasion.

Believe me, just because her name isn;t on the invitation does not mean anyone won't be thinking of her during this time. I think the bigger question here though, is if he wants his "father's wife" on the invitation. Maybe a "together with their families" would be easiest?? This is what we wound up doing.

Re: Invitation question . . . Regarding FH Mother (deceased) With Poll

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Re: Invitation question . . . Regarding FH Mother (deceased) With Poll

I personally don't think this type of issue should be included in the invitation. I believe "Together with our families" is a good solution. I would pay tribute to deceased during the ceremony and reception via prayers and speeches.

Re: Invitation question . . . Regarding FH Mother (deceased) With Poll

I am going to put something like " in honor of the loving memory of ............... " But I want to put in on the invitations.

Re: Invitation question . . . Regarding FH Mother (deceased) With Poll

My FFIL passed away and we put "together with their parents, Nora & Sean..." This way it doesn't include or exclude anyone- depending on how you read it.
Technically, you are suposed to put the names of the host on the invite, and how could a deceased person host a party?

Re: Invitation question . . . Regarding FH Mother (deceased) With Poll

OK, My fiance's father past away when he was 5 years old and his mom remarried about about 5 years ago, BUT my fiance doesnt really get along with his mothers husband-then what do you do?
any imput would be appreciated