Are we doing the right thing???? Advice please!

I've posted regarding this issue before but now it's pretty much done. We asked FH's older sister "Dee" and her husband to be in the BP but did not ask his younger sister "Amy" because FH doesn't get along with her and she is a big, needy drama queen that must always be the center of attention and always has to get her way on EVERYTHING.

We were undecided for a long time and finally our doubts were confirmed when we visited with them for the holidays and FH and Amy did not last more than 5 hrs without getting into an argument. FH was fuming for hours -- I've never seen anyone get to him the way she does (except maybe me )

We asked Amy's daughter to be the FG. And we want Amy to do a reading. We figured that should suffice. But FMIL sent us both a guilt-laden about how hurt Amy will be/is that we have not asked her. FH talked to her today and finalized the decision and FMIL continued to lay the guilt trip on him about how she's been left out of all her other siblings weddings, how this was her "last chance" to be a BM (he's the last one to marry).

He still said no. If you ladies knew this girl, you would understand. The mere thought of her being in our wedding turns my stomach and makes me want to cry because I feel certain that she will do everything in her power to try and ruin it, not that she could.

Nevertheless, I feel terrible after this woman's guilt trip. I really really don't want Amy in the wedding and neither does FH (guaranteed she will set him off). Are we doing the right thing? Or should we just ask her and deal with the inevitable drama storm that will surely follow her throughout the entire planning and day of? Is this the right thing to do? Why do I feel so bad if it is?

Re: Are we doing the right thing???? Advice please!

I think you're doing the right thing. This day should be all about you and FH.

Something in your post got to me - why hasn't Amy been in her other siblings bridal parties? Maybe everyone knows how she is and you're just getting the guilt because you're the last ones getting married.

Good luck in your planning.

Re: Are we doing the right thing???? Advice please!

I'm sorry you have to deal with this...but seems like there will be drama no matter if she is a BM or not. The question is...which will cause less drama???

Re: Are we doing the right thing???? Advice please!

I see where you're coming from, but I think she might cause more trouble if you don't ask her. Especially if everyone is included except her. Either way, it's a tough decision.

Re: Are we doing the right thing???? Advice please!

I think you are doing the right thing. I totally understand your situation. Mine's a bit worse. We aren't even inviting two of my FI's brothers because they don't get along. It was a hard decision to make, but it's our day, and we don't want anyone to ruin it.

Message edited 1/5/2004 4:14:39 PM.

Re: Are we doing the right thing???? Advice please!

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Posted by Donna

Something in your post got to me - why hasn't Amy been in her other siblings bridal parties? Maybe everyone knows how she is

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Re: Are we doing the right thing???? Advice please!

Do what you feel is right....this is your wedding not your FMIL's!! (they are so good at the guilt thing, right?)

Ultimately, only you can decide and just make sure your decision will make YOU happy - not everyone else...

ps - I personally think you are doing the right thing....jmo.