My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

She asked me months ago how much I am paying per plate and I told her $150 and she t called me a liar pretty much. She said it can't possibly be that much for Leonards. Now she is engaged and went to Leonards as an option and asked me again how much I am paying per plate (I think to see if I was making up the price and would fumble) She said "your paying $70 a plate, right" and I said no $150. Again she practically called me a liar saying that she got quoted only $70 per plate and how could mine be $150. I told her we are having an extensive menu. I am good friends with her and I am inviting her and her parents and they are so cheap and I think they would probably give me about $100 for all three of them (even thought they have a lot of money)
I really don't care about the money, but this really bothers me. She buys me $5 presents when she "requests" $70-80 gifts (she will actually tell me what she wants)Should I just let it go?

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

I would just ignore her next time she brings it up. You already told her so why does she need to keep bugging you about it?

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

That is so rude - tell her you are uncomfortable discussing prices or just keep ignoring her when she asks. She's going to give you what she wants anyway regardless of how much per plate it is. Some people are exasperating.

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

I agree-either ignore her or tell her straight out you are uncomfortable discussing prices for your wedding!!! It is none of her business, plain and simple!!!

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

If she asks again, say "Why do you ask?"

It's a very good way to shut up nosy people

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

I think she is asking because she is nosy.

Whenever anyone asks me, I lie. I am not from Long Island, nor is my fi or either of our families. So, I usually tell people who ask that after tax and tip, I am paying just under $200 per person.

While planning my own wedding, I accidentally found out that one of my cousins inflated her price drastically. I went to the hall (because I was sincerely interested in having my wedding there) and they gave price break downs for everything. But, when I found out that she lied, the ONLY person I told was my mom and I swore her to secrecy.

For me, this all started because my fi's cousin got married at the Watermill and told everyone that it was $185 per person. (They had a LAST MINUTE wedding because she was pregnant, so I am pretty sure that the Watermill gave them a great price).

But, I am sure that Leonard's will not give out our prices, nor do they provide a written list of prices, so I think you should just let it go with her because no one will be able to prove what you are paying anyhow.

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

Wow, how rude of her. You guys are paying a lot of money. Jeez louise. Was that rude Tell her to mind her own business. Maybe it is less for her too because she is not getting married during a prime month? Good Luck!!

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

I don't have a problem discussing prices with people I'm close too but she flat out told me that I was purposely upping the price to "fool people in giving me more money". So I sat there and broke everything down for her so she saw why it was costing me so much money. But I hate justifying myself. Yes I could of gotten it for $70pp as well, but my mom added a lot of extras in food, drinks, seat covers, ice sculptures etc. But how rude to think that I would say another price just to "fool people i ngiving me more money" and to actually say that to my face! People give what they can...it doesn't matter how much you are paying per plate.

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

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Posted by hugs213

I don't have a problem discussing prices with people I'm close too but she flat out told me that I was purposely upping the price to "fool people in giving me more money"

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Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

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Whenever anyone asks me, I lie.

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Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

Well, actually, I should explain that one. I am honest about the price with the people whom I am close to.

But, then there are those people whom I am NOT that close to that ask how much I am paying. My first response is ALWAYS, "I don't even want to think about it" But, if they push me more, I inflate the number.

I inflate the number for a few reasons: Unfortunately for me, I am surrounded by people who judge the "quality" of a wedding by how much it costs. And, the people who do actually push for a number are the same people who lied about how much they paid. So, I lie right back. I know that I am being petty. But, when someone feels the need to ask me how much I am paying and then push me for an answer, when I know darn well that they did NOT pay $185 per person like they said they did, I lie and tell them that I also paid just under $200 per person.

In reality, I am paying less than $200 per person. But, I let them think that the number is very close to $200 when it's really closer to $100.

Edited to say: it has nothing to do with gifts, I don't really care what people give me. Besides that, I already know that everyone in my family will give the same amount for a wedding, no matter where or when the wedding is.

And, I don't mind sharing info with other brides. It's when one of my wedding guests corners me about the price that I start getting creative...

Message edited 12/7/2003 12:57:12 PM.

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

Tell her if she has ANY manners she would know that it is NEVER appropriate to ask what someone is paying when they are being invited as a guest to something and that is just tacky and classless.

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

people are nuts! I'd say to her, "what do you want to see my contract?" Id show it to her just to shut her up and prove she was wrong. Then Id tell her was insulted that she would think I wouldnt tell the truth. I'd turn tables, why should you be feeling bad for her rudeness!

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

You some people just can't take a hint. I would NEVER ask someone how much they were paying pp. It's just rude.

My MOH kept asking me how much we were paying pp and I would just say 'too much'. She's the type of person who will comment on how much money you are spending whenever she gets the chance.

The other day she asked my again and I told her she was 'damn, I can't wait to see this'. then she asked how many people we were expecting. Within seconds I could hear her calculator going trying to firgure out the cost of the reception.

Then she calculates how much she spent pp. I explain to her that a wedding in NY is gonna cost more than a wedding in Memphis, TN. That I was having a cocktail hour, sit-down meal and 5-hr open bar, while she just had a serve-yourself buffet dinner at a Holiday Inn. Although the food was good and the hotel was the nicest Holiday Inn I have been to, it doesn't compare.

I wasn't trying to be mean but I had to break it down for her. She just wouldnt get the hint that I didn't want to talk about it with her. She's just one of those people who always compares what she has to someone else's.

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

Wel thank goodnes no one has really questioned me about the wedding costs,(even if they did all I would say is TOO MUCH) but your friend has absolutely NO MANNERS. That is just rude, tacky and classless. If she were doing it for the sake of research or something that would be one thing, but she sounds a little bit jealous. She is acting like a child when she starts comparing costs. She is a bit silly for not understanding that extra things add cost. I wouldn't pay attention to her, not worth your time, and don't justify yourself to her either, as long as she is not pying she should not be worried about it.

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

its kinda tacky to ask, and more so to say that your lying...

i know the last wedding my family went to was at coral house, and my mom wanted to "cover her plate" so she called up coral house and the looked it up and told her how much..

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

By Suven

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But, then there are those people whom I am NOT that close to that ask how much I am paying. My first response is ALWAYS, "I don't even want to think about it" But, if they push me more, I inflate the number.

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Message edited 12/7/2003 5:11:53 PM.

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

This friend of yours sounds very odd !!! I used to have a friend like that until I got engaged(she was engaged before me). She is more of an acquantence(sp?) now though. She makes her wedding sound like it is the wedding of the century and mine is cheap when I know that we are paying approximately the same amount, give or take 5 bucks and everything that she has at her cocktail hour and reception is soooo grand but I am having that too. It is very odd !!! When I booked my photographer, it was oh you don't need two photographers and that is so much money and then when I got my dress she had the nerve to ask me how much it was !! When I told her she was like, I would never spend that amount of money on a dress I will wear for one day. (I am venting sorry)

The point is to each his own. I think that she asks you how much everything is is very tacky. I would never ask that. My "friend's" behavior would account for why I am her acquaintence now.

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

Well, if a bride were to add on ALL of the things offered at Leonard's, she could definitely end up paying $200 or even more depending on the day and time of year.

Neither my family nor my Fi's family is from Long Island. Based on the prices in NJ, where my family and fi's family are from, once they see Leonard's and our upgrades, they will probably think we are paying way more than we are.

IMO, it's really no one's business what anyone pays for anything- except the person paying the bill. I only like sharing that kind of info with the people I am close to.

So, when someone whom I am NOT comfortable sharing the price with wants to know, and they don't take the hint when I say, "I don't even want to think about it" I prefer to throw out a number so that I don't end up in an argument with the person. And, since the only people who ask me are people that I am not comfortable sharing with, and who I KNOW inflated their own numbers, I throw out an inflated number.

But, I am only answering from my own, individual experience.

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

Being a bride herself now she should know how rude it is to ask how much you are paying per plate.

I am sorry your friend is stressing you.

BTW....I love your avatar!

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

Is this really a friend?? She worry about her own business rather than yours!!

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

Hi,

I am glad this topic came up, because people asked me how much am I paying per plate for the hall and when I tell them, they fall out and say that is alot of money.

My new answer for them is : "I would prefer to keep that as private information."

People want to see my dress, they want to know how much this and that costs.... No one is helping me pay for the wedding besides my family and FI, so the whole world can go suck on an egg. !!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

Thanks Bellz :)

I'm glad I'm not alone in this...I mean I would never ask someone how much something is costing them. Well I'll try to take your advice if she asks again.

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

What goes around comes around, give them 2/3's of what they give you. If you are tired of being called a liar, show her your contract.

Re: My friend keeps asking me how much I am paying per plate(trying to trick me...I think)

Your friend sounds really rude. People try to weasel things out of me and I just tell the truth its very expensive, I doubt that many people will cover themselves, but I see how stingy some people really are and its good to know.