Invitation wording- when parent has passed away

I know Emily Post advises against it, but I am thinking about putting my father's name on my wedding invitations- like.... Michelle daughter of Esther and the late Jerry.... I don't know if that is OK, or if I should forget about putting his name on the invite. I know I will honor him somehow during the ceremony.

Has anyone done this or is thinking about doing this? What do you think?

Re: Invitation wording- when parent has passed away

I think it is ok to honor your father on the invitation.. If you feel you want to do it go for it

Re: Invitation wording- when parent has passed away

My FI's dad passed away in January and we put 'Together with our Parents', Karissa and Joe....
if you like the other way, then use that.

Message edited 12/4/2003 5:26:27 PM.

Re: Invitation wording- when parent has passed away

My FFIL passed away, we decided to go with "together with their parents" this way you can either include or exclude FFIL depending on how you read it. But both sides are helping to pay for the wedding.

ETA: Emily Post isn't invited is she? Then how will she know what you say? Do what makes you happy.

Message edited 12/4/2003 5:45:13 PM.

Re: Invitation wording- when parent has passed away

That Emily Post crack was just a joke.

WHen you do "together with your parents", did you name your parents, or just leave it as that. How did you name the one who passed away.

Re: Invitation wording- when parent has passed away

When we did our invites, part of me didn't want to do it because some people say you shouldn't include it, but then I figured, "hey, my mom is still my mom even if she's not living anymore" and I wanted to have her name there, so, we put
...daughter of John Joe and the late Jane Doe

One person told me she got teary eyed reading it, but she meant it in a good way.
Do whatever you feel good about.
Good luck!.

Re: Invitation wording- when parent has passed away

I think you should definitely do it if you like!!! I have searched around on this topic and there are so many different opinions regarding "etiquette". Really do what you feel is best!!! Personally, I know my mom is still here with me(in my heart) and she probably would be hurt if I didn't include her on the invite!!! I know this cause my mom loved attention!! Do whatever you feel is best for YOUR situation!! Everyone is different!!

Re: Invitation wording- when parent has passed away

We just did 'Together w/ our parents', not their names, just ours.

Re: Invitation wording- when parent has passed away

Our invite is coming from "us", so no parents will be mentioned. Noth FH's parents have passed but if we were going to do an invite from parents, I would want to include their names ... personal opinion.

Re: Invitation wording- when parent has passed away

Go to www.verseit.com they have some different ways of wording.

Message edited 12/4/2003 8:16:39 PM.

Re: Invitation wording- when parent has passed away

My father has also passed away. My mom is throwing the wedding so we had Mrs. Robert (last name) is pleased to announce . . . on the annoucements.
so i think is it good idea to work your dad into the invite - however i do not think it is necessary to write "late". just write his name or Mr and Mrs if your mom has not remarried.
Also, are you planning on anything special to recognize you dad during the ceremony? I am trying to think of some ideas. Ive heard candle, flowers, etc. Any thoughts?

Re: Invitation wording- when parent has passed away

how does your mom feel about it? you may want to get her feedback...

we did not mention DH's father on the invite...but dedicated a page to him in our program...

Re: Invitation wording- when parent has passed away

My sister just got married, and she just put my mom's name because it was worded Esther ... mother of ..... and Bob and Marsha... parents of.... invite you

I s/w my mom a while ago about this and she does not think it is "etiquette", but I just don't know. I want my dad to be mentioned.


As to how to incorporate him in the ceremony, I think I am getting married by my rabbi who married my parents and was a friend of my dad's. He said some very nice things about my dad, ina very appropriate way. I am also planning to mention him when I make my speech and also have pictures of him around the reception hall (along with the rest of my family and my FH's family)


Thank you girls so much!!!

Message edited 12/5/2003 8:35:18 AM.