Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

I have a funny feeling that a cousin of mine is going to bring her 7 year old daughter to the wedding and say her babysitter fell through.

I've discussed with her that my in-laws are very very upset with me that I'm not having children at the wedding, and that this will put me in a really sticky situation, so I can't have anyone's children at the wedding.

I STILL THINK IT's going to happen....she's known for pulling stuff like this.

Did anything like this happen to you and if so, did people get upset at you that their kid wasn't there?

I'm just worried because my sister in law went so far as to take back her "yes" RSVP for my shower and "boycott" my shower because I'm not having children at the wedding.

IF a child does show up, the S##T is going to really hit the fan. THere's really nothing more I can do...I'm just freaking out.

Message edited 12/1/2003 9:26:24 AM.

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

I'm most worried about my FI's brother (the best man) and sister in law throwing a fit at the wedding...

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

One of DH's groomsmen brought their 1 year old when she wasn't invited.

I did have some other children at the wedding however, so she really didn't stand out.

I invited up to my first cousins.. and they range from 5 to 35! I didn't feel right excluding anyone.

Honestly- don't let it bother you- if she shows up- don't worry about it-

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

Two babies were at my wedding. I had made it clear that there should be NO CHILDREN, but at that point what can you do.

I did not let it bother me.

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

I noticed that there was a bay in a car seat at my wedding. He was only 5 months old!!!!

I also told everyone no children, but some people do not listen.

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

Roger's sister brought her grandson and she was so apologetic, she said she did not know. I am like what do you think it means when it said this is an adult only affair He was so well behaved tho' it was not a problem, he fell asleep in no time. You have so much fun you don't even notice them, the people that lose out on the fun is the ones that have to tend to them.

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

I'm not too worried about the actual wedding, it's the aftermath...FI's brother and sister in law have created so many problems already beause their children are not invited to the wedding. So, I'm just stressed that they'll start up again.

Thanks ladies

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

you can't worry yourself about things that haven't happened yet.

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

Deal with it when it happens, don't worry yourself over something you have no control over. Look at it this way, you do not have to live with them. I think people can be so rude sometimes, when it comes to their children and invitation, its as if all forms of respecting a person's wishes goes out the window with their common sense.

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

I invited children for this exact reason...


but I agree with Christine...deal with it when the time comes...also stress to your cousin (or have your parents to their parents) that you do not want any children and you will be very upset)


one other thing: would you be up for hiring a babysitter? having them stay in another room?

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

I invited some children to my wedding. They were all close relatives that I wanted there. I think I had 3 more kids that I did not invite. My mother specifically told this one woman not to bring her grandson because she is known for taking him everywhere. This woman begged for him to come, even offerred to pay for him. We told her no. She had the nerve to bring him anyway. I admit I didn't notice him on the day but when I saw my raw footage I was so pissed. She used the excuse that her husband culdn't come so she brought him instead as her guest. I still think I should ask her for her money.

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

Tammy you are crazy

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

I was worried about this as well, so I expressed this worry to the GMs and my father and FIL. All the men told me not to worry about it becuase they would deal with it. Needless to say, I had no problems. Would it be possible to ask your GMs or the fathers for help, maybe if they see children, go to the children's parents and say that this is an adult affair only and they will not be seated in the church or reception? Good luck!

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

no we didn't, thank god. i was concerned that might be a problem. we did invite some children (my goddaughter, his two neices- all were our fgs) but we specifically did not invite others.

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

We had our nieces and nephews there, wouldn't have imagined differently, but they were all such well behaved kids we had no qualms at all (they were ages 5-9). I even made them goody bags to keep them occupied.

We were afraid that some other guests would get offended that their kids weren't invited, but I think it was pretty clear that only those closest to us would be there.

I don't think you should worry about it, and odds are, you won't even notice if they do show up with child in tow....you'll be very distracted by the lavish party you've thrown!

Message edited 12/1/2003 5:52:59 PM.

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

I made it very clear and lo and behold, at my reception, I see my DH's cousin holding her 3 month old daughter. The baby was actually an angel, very quiet, but hello??!!! And it's not like they could not find a babysitter - they totally could have.

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

Kathy;

If it does happen get ready to turn on the acting skills.

Go overboard about how you're just devastated that your cousin disregarded your wishes and showed up with children despite repeated conversation about not having children at the wedding.

Follow that up with how grateful you are to BIL and SIL, and how they've shown such grace and class in respecting your wishes.

Make a fuss about how they've done the right thing and acted respectfully. After that, hopefully they wouldn't dare make a fuss about how they should have been allowed to bring the children.

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

I was so afraid this was going to happen to me but thankfully it didnt.

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

I had a few people cancel about a week before because they couldn't get sitters (think it was just a way to get me to say "oh bring them". ) They were both in the same family.

Then I had one family bring two child and there babysitter!!! They were from out of town so I felt a little for them. Besides they kept my son and my step daughter busy.

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

OMG, this was a HUGE issue for me!!! about 10 days before the wedding all of Bob's aunts decide they want to leave their spouses/significant others home and bring their kids!! i couldn't believe it!!!! to make things worse, one of his aunts actually called to see if in addition to bringing her one child (in place of her spouse), if she could bring the other, too - since it wasn't fair that only one would be able to attend. HELLO!!!! no children are supposed to attend!!! not only did they violate my wishes, but it end up costing me an extra head!!!! AND Bob's 14 year old cousin got so drunk that she almost threw up on the reception table (luckily Bob's SIL knew she didn't look good and got her to the bathroom in time).

this is one of those things that just happen - you can express your wishes over and over, and some people just don't care!!! try not to let it stress you out. you have clearly stated your wishes - you can only hope that other people respect them.

good luck!!

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

I had a few people bring their kids. I didn't let it bother me on my day. At that point, there not much you can do.

Re: Did anyone have children "show up" at the wedding when they specified and made it clear that this is a "childless" wedding?

I completely understand where you are coming from.. Here's where I think it's inappropriate.......From working in catering halls on and off for about 10 years, in my experience-By the middle to end of the night, if you look along the walls, and in corners, it's chairs lined up in a row with kids sleeping on them. Sorry they don't belong there. When I had my wedding, people pulled the same "oh, I have no sitter ", I simply replied with a "Oh, sorry you will miss it"---BA BYE. It's a royal pain. Unless they are invited, and its usually if its very close family (my little cousins were in the bridal party-3 girls and 3 boys), and they were old enough to not be lined up laying on chairs in the corner in the middle of the wedding. You dont pay all of this money for built in cots. Not only that, its a bit** for the wait staff to do their jobs while sprinting over children sleeping on the floor and chairs. But once they are there-THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO!!!!! Use me as an excuse, and say you have a friend who works at halls and this is what I saw, and you dont want it at your wedding!