Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

What has your experience been?

We lived together before we were married so we thought nothing would change - but I am finding there are still challenges.

Any input

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

We lived together too before hand. I felt that it was still a bit of an adjustment too.

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

I was told that the first 7 years are the hardest ... it's when you and your husband are truly getting to know all there is about you and I also think that the first 7 years are probably when you go through lots of changes for most people ... like building a home, changing jobs or building a career and having kids.

I did find it to be a little bit challenging during our first year. Getting to know each other's habits and learning how to live with each other and our differences. For example, I'm not as neat as he is and he wants everything in it's place all the time.

I think marriage is like a roller coaster at times ... ups and downs with peaks, twists and turns. An exhillarting ride though that I would go on over and over again.

So, fret not, you are not alone.

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

We never lived together so I was fearing the worst. We had a minor "schedule-adjusting period" and a minor "I miss my family" period but nothing like what people talk about. if the first year is the hardest then bring it on b/c I am one happy chic.

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

We had never lived together either, just the spending of nights together.

The challenges I have had is

1. Getting him to be quiet in the morning
2.Getting him to wash the dishes he makes in the morning from his breakfast
3.Get him to stop procrastinating with household chores

We have been together over 10 years,so our relationship has not changed much.

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

I know I have only been marreid a month, but so far there has not been anything major. We have been together for 10 years, and have lived together for almost 2. Right now we are living with my paretns, and I think that that was the hardest in the beginning. Once we move into our house, I know there will be adjustments, but for now, it seems the same. The only thing that has annoyed me, is changing bank info, since I am still waiting for an ATM card, and a Visa Card, but that is an issue with the bank, not with DH.

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

I think that's more for people who haven't lived together prior to their marriage.

We lived together for 3 yrs before our wedding, so our first year of marriage was pure bliss!

It was a rough few months when we first lived together, mainly to adjust to the change and all. I'm so glad we did too - it got all the annoying things out of the way by the time we were married!

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

since we got married, we seem to argue more...

i mean, we always make up, and last night we even said if we DIDN'T fight at all, that would be weird, but...I don't get it!

We were also saying that before the wedding, we were caught up in the whole whirlwind planning romance LOL....and now back to reality!!

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

FM

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

the first year is hard b/c it is an adjustment period! but the saying goes if you make it through the rough first year........ most make it through

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

My mother jokes and tells me the first TWENTY years are the toughest!!! I'm hoping she's just kidding haha!

I've never lived with DH before so for me, it's been a HUGE adjustment. I guess it's just a whole new life that starts once your married, whether you've lived together or not. I'm sure it will pass! Don't you worry!

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

I can tell you it passes. For DH and I it was finances. Now its amazing we had such a hard time adjusting to each other.

We never lived together before we got married and we didn't share money before we got married so it was a big adjustment for us.

Now it just flows though. It will get much better sweetie. Don't worry yourself.

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

We lived together before hand also. I have also seen some minor adjustments in our roles. The thing that blows my mind is now that our affairs and lives are completed intertwined (sp?) I have noticed a lot of personalitly traits about Frankie that I knew before but now they are really standing out.

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

I am a witness that it will get better and you 2 will find what works for you. It is a roller coaster but once you find what works for both of you, it will be smooth most of the times and not so smooth other times.

The high times makes up for the low ones. It is all a cycle. I enjoy being married now than when we were first adjusting. Life is grand. It takes work but you two can do it

Nothing sweeter than 2 committed people digging their heels in and making it work. The little things will be a thing of the past, you will come to overlook a lot.

You are in it for the long haul so when you look at the big picture you will see that is that really worth worrying over?? You will start to focus on all the good there is. Once you start doing that you will not have any time for the little annoyances. Take care.

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

thank you all i feel better

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

I wondered why everyone said that, since ours wasn't hard at all. We had been living together for a year already.

2nd year hasn't been hard either!

There are challenges sometimes (generally his family), and you have to learn to compromise and not let every little thing bother you. You'll be a lot happier in the long run.

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

We lived together for about 4 years before we got married... shared just about everything. Things didn't really change until I found out I was pregnant. Then I noticed dramatic changes. So far all good changes. He does the laundry, the cooking, washes the floors... you name it, he does it! Our relationship has gotten a lot stronger and our understanding for each other seems to have deepened as well...

So I would say that pregnancy will bring on different issues... some good... some not so good...

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

---

Posted by Cira

I was told that the first 7 years are the hardest ...

---

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

We did not live together before hand so it took us a few months to get used to eachother's habits. After that...we were fine.

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

Im not getting this one at all, we didnt live together and I couldnt be happier. i feel like we are finally the way we should be and its a relief actually. Plus I guess i kind of expected the toothpaste on the sink type of stuff lol

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

---

Posted by tarakinspa

Im not getting this one at all, we didnt live together and I couldnt be happier. i feel like we are finally the way we should be and its a relief actually. Plus I guess i kind of expected the toothpaste on the sink type of stuff lol

---

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

We will hit the one year mark on 12/15, and lived together before also. I found this year to be wonderful, no major problems at all. I guess we were lucky.

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

I think a lot of people say the first year is hard because it's when most couples go through their adjustments. No matter how long you dated or lived together before marriage - marriage is a new beginning. A lot of emotions and changes are being made during the first year which causes anxiety for some. There is the letting go of both your single lives, and coming together as one.

However, you have to take things one day at a time and focus on what you both want as a couple. Marriage takes patience and understanding. You have to keep working at it to keep it fresh and interesting. It's not easy at times, but don't let the "not so easy" parts get you down - it happens in all aspects of life. Keep focusing on all the things you like about being married and being with your hubby.

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

Tray- what great words!!!

Re: Why is the first year so hard - why does everyone say that?

Tray- that was so nice and so very true!