Never mind I'm over it, I am not mad at FH anymore.. Thanks girls

ETS: thanks to LIWEDDING GIRLS: I deleted it because I am not mad at FH anymore...

Message edited 11/23/2003 2:36:16 PM.

Re: UGGHH!!! I am so mad at FH!!!! big time VENT!!!

what was the rationale for setting it in March in the first place? Wouldn't November interfere with school? I know the frustration of a long engagement - FH and I got engaged in March 2003 and we're getting married in Sept 2004 - 18 month total.

Can you plan a small, relatively inexpensive engagement party in the interim?

Re: UGGHH!!! I am so mad at FH!!!! big time VENT!!!

To help calm you, why don't you just leave the date as is. November is only 4 months earlier not 10... And believe me those 4 months will fly by before you even know it. I know you are upset but just try and relax and think about all of the wonderful things ahead. Take a break from wedding planning for a little while.. When i say break i don't mean 3 months but just a couple weeks.. Give yourself and Fh sometime to just deal with day to day basics. After a few days or weeks Fh will probably be a lot more open to discussin wedding issues. I have found whenever i bombarded FH with things day after day, he would get tired of listening to some of it. So i usually planned and thought a lot to myself and then when i knew certain times were right we would talk.. Of course now that is all we talk about but we are less than 3 months away. Give it a try and Do something nice for yourself today. FH told you to go shopping. SO YOU KNOW WHAT--GO SHOPPING AND BUY SOMETHING REALLY EXPENSIVE FOR YOURSELF...

Re: UGGHH!!! I am so mad at FH!!!! big time VENT!!!

Oh JZNCK -- I know exactly how you feel! FH and I went through the changing the date fights for MONTHS before we actually ended up changing it (we changed it from 4/30/05). Believe me, I know the wait is hard. Try rehashing (to yourself) the reasons why you decided to set the date for when you did. If circumstances haven't changed and you can't make them change, then don't make yourself crazy thinking about moving the wedding up. In my case, we had a change of circumstance (and a little arm twisting) that made it possible to move the wedding up. BUT, if nothing had changed, we would not have been able to do it and I had to live with that.

Since you have alot done, why don't you try taking a break from the wedding planning for a couple of months? Take up another short term project. If you can -- I know I tried and wasn't able to. But I also know that if you can, you'll feel much better and time will fly.

Good luck and hang in there! To those people who say "that's so far away" -- just smile knowingly and say "I know - I love having all this time to plan and be Bride-to-be!" You only get to be a Bride for one day, and you only get to be a Bride to be up until that day so enjoy it! Think about how you'd feel if the wedding was one month away and then planning is over. THIS is the fun part.

Re: UGGHH!!! I am so mad at FH!!!! big time VENT!!!

I know how you feel. I was engaged Sept 2002 and the wedding is Sept 2004. 2 year engagement!!! I didn't start planning until a year before though. Sp04 is right, November is only 4 months earlier. Those 4 months will go by really fast especially because of the holidays. You also have a lot of vendors booked. What if they are not all available for the new day in November?

Re: UGGHH!!! I am so mad at FH!!!! big time VENT!!!

I doubt your FH meant what he said about college. I think he was just upset because it seems (and if I'm wrong please don't be upset, it's just how I read your post) that the main reason you want to move the wedding up is because you already have your dress and all your vendors booked. And that people are making comments about how quickly you booked your vendors. First off, don't listen to other people. The only people who's opinions matter in your wedding are you, your FH and maybe your parents. If they're making the comments, then maybe you can talk to FH again about it. If it's friends that are making the comments....tell them to butt out! We booked our vendors in Jan 2002 for an April 2004 wedding. Was it early? Probably. But everyone had our date, and we got it over with and we were able to budget for it properly because we knew what we were dealing with a year in advance!
I know you never expected DB to have the dress ready for you that soon. Is there a reputable dry cleaners in your area that can tell you the best way to store it before you get it fitted? There's people that have used sister's dresses or mothers dresses and they came out fine, so there must be a way that they can help you store it so that it won't be wrinkly or yellowed in a year from now. I doubt it would even yellow in a year's time, if that's what you are worried about. And if it wrinkles, you can have them take the wrinkles out when you go for your fittings.

Trust me having a long engagement has it's pros and cons. My engagement, when all is done, will be 17 months. Yes I wish it was over too sometimes, but also it helped tremendously with saving money. We got the date we wanted because we went in January 2003 asking about spring 2004. With school and planning, the time will go by faster than you think! If you leave it this way, you can save for the perfect honeymoon, or buy all the things on the registry you may not get at your shower or even start saving up for a house if you don't have one already.

Everything will be fine. If you are really and truly not happy about the date you have, talk calmly to your FH about it and state why you feel it might be better. But don't give up your March date before you find a Nov date...in case you can't find a Nov date then you won't have ANY date!

Good luck, I'm sure everything will work out no matter when you get married!!

Message edited 11/23/2003 12:05:41 PM.

Re: UGGHH!!! I am so mad at FH!!!! big time VENT!!!

We got engaged in May. I really wanted to get married in May 04, but we ended up booking our day for Sept. 04 - 1 year and 4 months - just like you! At first, I felt like it was sooooo far away! But here I am now, with only 10 months to go!!! The time will FLY! Believe me! Plus, it will give you more time to save $$$. Now, I'm glad that we're waiting till Sept. - if we were getting married this May, I think I'd be freaking out, b/c I still have so much to do! Ignore those people who say that 3/05 is too far away - a lot of time is needed to plan a wedding! Whenever I saw wedding calendars, they usually say to start planning even 18 months before!

Now, with his whole school comment - I'm guessing that he said it out of frustration with the whole date thing. I would bet that he didn't mean it. But, once things have calmed down, you may want to discuss it with him.

Re: UGGHH!!! I am so mad at FH!!!! big time VENT!!!

Well I know exactly how you fell, you know I was getting married 2 weeks AFTER you, and we got engaged in "02 so I know the frustration. Luckily FH had no qualms about moving the date to 9-04. Hang in there maybe he will change his mind

Re: UGGHH!!! I am so mad at FH!!!! big time VENT!!!

Thank you girls so much. I just really needed to vent, because he got so mad that he wouldn't talk to me.. and I had to talk about it immediatley.. He's talking to me now.. I feel bad and selfish.. i just got SO EXCITED... I found the invitations I wanted,and I got carried away.. I love March, it's my favorite month, and the date is 3 days before my grandmothers b-day, she just passed away this past april. So we wanted to do it around then. he is the best man in the world,and I didn't even take the time to concider his feelings.. What is wrong with me?? I agree with you girls about waiting because it is one day,and the sooner it comes the sooner it's over.. My gown will be fine, I'm just excited to wear it.. I should of never went to look this early.. lol.. Our date is March 12 2005 and everyone that has soemthing to say about it, I am going to use what your girsl said and say, I know isn't it great.. I get to enjoy being a bride to be.. Thanks so much. I feel so much better.. I am going shopping right now.. And I also forgot about holidays.. christmas is right around the corner.. I need to get in the christmas mode.. I am also taking some time off of planning, I have a scrap book I have been trying to put together I'll put that together.. and about school.. He just thinks that I will get too wrapped up in the wedding, and will forget about school..and you know what he's probably right..(bite my tongue).. thanks again..

Re: UGGHH!!! I am so mad at FH!!!! big time VENT!!!

It's not that far away. March is like 4 months away, and then it's going to already be in a year, and a year can go fast! I still have a year to go myself, but at least I can take my time with the planning right now.

Re: Never mind I'm over it, I am not mad at FH anymore.. Thanks girls

Time goes by so fast, by the time you know it the day will be here. Just enjoy this time of planning and being engaged.

Re: Never mind I'm over it, I am not mad at FH anymore.. Thanks girls

JZ - you are only 2 months after me - and believe me time will fly - i got engaged in March - and time has definitely flown by -

anyway - you cant leave our 2005 thread! We'd miss you too much!