If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

because your FI was sick....would you want to just postpone it and do it exactly how you planned at another time or would you just want to do something small away somewhere later on?

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

It would depend on how sick.

Is everything ok Chloegirl?

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

If he was sick I would do somethig quick just us, that's what it about anyway. A wedding is one day, a marriage a lifetime I hope everything is ok

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

It would depend upon how sick.
Is he okay?
Are you.

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

Yup, we did. Have you ever noticed my screen name and then saw I got married 9/27/02.. lol
Dh's USAF commitment conflicted with our orginal date so a month prior to the date we had to postpone it. Luckily our hall booked another party for that night and all our other vendors knew of Dh's career and worked with us.
As soon as we go the go ahead to replan we picked the quickest available date.
We got the go ahead August 28th and rebooked for Sept 27th. We have Diana at Crystal international reprint our invites with the new date and luckily. The imperial manor, our florist, CWC, and eveyone else was still available.. our priest had left the parish but came back to do our mass!

Everything was the same! Just a few months later! It all worked out because the girls dresses were butter and it still looked fine for September. Plus that September was my parents 30th anniversary and my in laws 25th so it worked out well! And now we joke that it was meant to be!

I wish you the best of the luck! The hardest part for us was that we had our wedding bands engraved with 70502 and that was wrong and also that day was hard for us as well, since we knew we should have been getting married and dammit it was an beautiful july day! But it all worked out we got an amazing september day!

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

1st - I hope everything is ok with FH and yourself.

2nd I would have a small ceremony and a resturant reception (my secret fantasy anyway) for 20-30 people.

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

Well FH has been sick for almost 5 months and the docs all 15-20 of them from Stony Brook to Columbia Presbyterian Hospital have no answers and no medication that will make him better.

February will be 5 years we have been together and through all this time we really have been through a lot...including my fathers passing....but this has far exceeded any of the most challenging times we have faced thus far.

The two of us are going crazy and feel like we have a deadline for him to get better by. We are considering canceling the wedding. The thought of it brings us both to tears but we just don't know what else to do. Yeah he may be perfect my 5/1/04 but we just dont know and dont know how much longer we can go on without knowing.

SO this is where my question comes from...I dont think i could go through with re-planning all of this for another date. Everyone seems to think this is silly but I just don't know....I dont know if we should even be considering this yet.

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

Sorry you have to go thru this. I'd call my vendors and explain the circumstances and see what they say. You have pretty reputable vendors, don't think they'll be *&%$'s about it. I'm not sure that if it was postponed if I'd change it or not, guess that would be a wait and see.

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

I'm sorry to hear that your FH is sick. Why don't you just get married in a civil ceremony to take the pressure off? If all is well in May, then go ahead with your plans.

All that matters is the two of you.

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

well how sick is he? does he get up and go to work everyday? is he just uncomfortable?
is he bedridden?
has he gotten worse?
what exactly is going on with him?
you poor thing. i'll keep you in my thoughts. keep us posted.

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

First let me say that my thoughts are with you and your FI. This must be incredible difficult for you both and I hope that he is well soon.

If it were me, I think I would cancel the big wedding and get married now. Have something small with family and very close friends. Then when your FI/DH is better, have the big party and celebrate with everyone. But that is only what I would do. You two have to do what is right for yourselves!

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

so sorry

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

I'm so sorry My prayers and thoughts are with you and your FH

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

I am so sorry you and your FH have to go through this when it's supposed to be such a happy time. I have absolutely no advice but want you to know I'll keep you both in my thoughts

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

I would do exactly what Wendy said...

I hope your FI feels better soon and you'll both be in my thoughts and prayers.

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

Sorry to hear that, my wedding twin. Don't stress yourself over this. I know it must be heartbreaking to even think about postponing your wedding after all the work you've done, but your FH's health should come first. People will understand.
Hugs!

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

Oh, I'm so sorry you've been going through this. It must be such a difficult time for you, your FH and your families...I hope you see a light soon.

To answer your question...I would probably get married now - in a civil ceremony...and when FH was better, would maybe have the planned wedding then. Who knows though, you know? By that time, for all I would know, having a traditional wedding may seem insignificant and maybe we wouldn't have it. But would definetly honeymoon!

Hope you both find answers soon...

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

This was on the BHB board, under vendor insurance. You might want to consider this.

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Posted by nsgraham

Consider getting overall wedding insurance. Wedsafe.com has packages that start at $160 i think. I got it and I'm really glad I did.

Nadine

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Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

Sending some hugs your way! Whatever you decide to do, I know your family and friends will stand by you! (Including all of the LIW ladies!) I hope your FH feels better soon!

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

First, I'm so sorry that you are both going through this and hope your FI gets a diagnosis soon It's horrible to feel sick and have no explanations!

My FI and I cancelled our first wedding. We've been engaged for 3.5 years, but when we first got engaged, we made the first wedding for May of 2002. As time went by, and as school got more and more crazy, we decided that it was too stressful and not a happy time. I didn't truly enjoy planning the wedding, and I knew I'd be cramming not only for finals, but for the NY BAR exam.

We only set a new date in Jan of 2003...we just felt that everything calmed down, and it was right to start the planning.

And I am SOOOOOOO HAPPY THAT WE CANCELLED THE FIRST WEDDING! Everything is just so much more "right" this time. Planning is easier, there's nothing else distracting me, etc.

If you have to cancel your wedding, don't worry, you and FI have each other and know what you both mean to each other, and when things calm down and you both feel it's a better time, then the planning can begin again.

Please keep me posted.

Message edited 11/19/2003 2:35:24 PM.

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

First off a hug for you. Nobody should have to go through this at what should be a happy time. I won't bore you with the details but we almost cancelled our wedding because my mom was very sick. She wouldn't let me do this so we held our date and it came down to a very stressful few weeks before and bringing her home from the hospital the day before. Needless to say she got to be there and died while I was on my honeymoon.

My point is that when the day finally arrived the only things that were important were that my DH and his family and my family were there. Everything else was a bonus. It RAINED (alot) and I didn't care. The flowers could have shown up dead and it wouldn't have mattered what I learned from the whole thing is that it isn't all about the hoopla (sp) but about you and your FI and the people who love and support you no matter what.

So do what is best for you and him. And if that means putting off the hoopla and doing something small now than I say go for it and it can be as wonderful and romantic as the BIG wedding. If when he is better you want to do the big thing than you can. All the more reason for a big party. As for your vendors you may be suprised with what they will offer you. My hall was willing to let us cancel the morning of and give us a list of dates and we wouldn't have lost a penny. They even called me while I was on my honeymoon to see how my mom was.

Sorry I have rambled long enough. Keep us posted.

Jen

Message edited 11/19/2003 2:48:57 PM.

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

I just re-read the other posts, and doing a small civil ceremony in lieu of a wedding might be the way to go...and when FI is better, go ahead with the party.

I just hope he gets better, if you ever need to talk, I think you still have my phone number, or just FM me!

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

Hi, just wanted to say my thoughts are with you and your FH

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

Just wanted to send you hugs.

Sounds like you and fiance are a great pair, both being strong and there for eachother.

All the best to you both and let us know how it all goes.

Re: If you had to cancel your wedding after over a year of planning....

if he was sick, as in terminally or seriously sick...I'd move it up as soon as possible. I would not want to risk losing any precious time as husband and wife.