I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

Well, ladies, it's been 5 months, and I have to say to all the stepchildren/mothers out there, my heart is so open to my Stepson. I am so in love with him. We have gotten extremely close and I consider it a blessing.

When he is with us at the house, he barely leaves my side.
Sometimes he'll sit there with me for hours upon hours and watch the Wedding video (that I am obsessed with) for the entire time. This video is UNEDITED ladies, so we're talking about 5-6 hours !!!!!!
He'll do that with me INSTEAD of going to the other room with Daddy to watch football, which is his favorite sport.

He tries to 'protect' me and it's the cutest thing. He's 11 but now 6 foot tall
He may end up taller than DH who is 6'4"
So he thinks he has to protect me, since I'm smaller than him, LOL (I'm 5'4")

Anyway, he showers me with hugs and kisses like I do to him, and he takes it all when I give it. Never winces ever. He even told someone he 'doesn't mind' it, LOL.

This weekend I was out of town for 1 day, and when I got back, he told me he missed me and "It wasn't the same without you"
He was so happy to have me back home.

It really warms my heart and I feel like he is truly my son.

I cry sometimes when he leaves to go to his Mother's. I suppose this is natural, but I am always sad to see him go. He gets pretty depressed when he goes too. This is the only thing that breaks my heart. And I called myself "Mommy" when I spoke to him on the phone the other day from out of town. Then I corrected myself and said "StepMommy".
He didn't seem to mind, but I got a little sad b/c I WISH I really were the real MOMMY.

But alas, I feel truly blessed with our relationship, and just wanted to share. It is a wonderful feeling being a stepmom to him.

Thanks All for listening

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

OMG, please dont make me cry so much. How beautiful!!! You are so wonderful to be so caring and loving to him. I wish everyone felt that way. It saddens me b/c my SIL wants no part of my nephew (bro's son from 1st marriage) and he's a great kid. He lives in Atlanta and they're in NY so she doesnt even have to deal with him, lucky her.

What a beautiful relationship you have. HE sounds like a great kid. You are both so blessed. I bet your DH is thrilled.

This post really warmed my heart. Even though my PMS has my bawling.

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

Thanks Liz
I could see why you are saddenned by your SIL behavior.

When I made a decision to get serious with DH, I made a decision to love him and all of him, which to me includes his son. I knew when we married, we were becoming a true family, and it included the 3 of us (that's why I made sure to include my SS in our engagement pictures)
I personally think this is how it should be, well if the child is willing anyway.

Now, get through your PMS - your response is making me cry !!!!!!

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

Liz I am so proud of you. What a wonderful example of parenthood you are giving this young man. Your love for him shines through clearly in everything that you write.

Don't worry that you are aren't his actual "Mommy". Biology means nothing when it comes to parenthood. It's all about love, my dear and you have it in bunches. Believe me, from the behavior you describe he feels it for you too!

They say you get back in life that which you give and it's clear you give much. Big hugs to you for being the sweet and special wife and "mom" that you so obviously are!

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

He's lucky to have such a wonderful "step"mommy! Not many women would take the time to get to know their husbands child. You are a remarkable woman!

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

My stepmother is truly a mother to me, in nearly every sense of the word. That doesn't mean I don't love my mom or anything, but the truth is I can count on my stepmom more. My mother actually told my dad a few years ago how grateful she is that I have my stepmother because she knows she cannot give me what I really need emotionally or even time wise.

I think it is wonderful that you love your child- remember giving birth doesn't make you a mother. Being there, love, caring, listening, hugs and kisses make you a mom

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

He is VERY LUCKY to have you!

Being divorced and having a child myself, I know what a special person it takes to accept a child into their lives. Luckily, my FH is one of those great people, and so are you.

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

What a beautiful post! I loved reading it.

to you and "your" son!

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

What a beautiful story Liz!

You will be all ready for your biological baby when the time comes!!

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

That is so sweet. I'm so happy that you have such a great relationship. You are obviously a wonderful mother.

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

I think Wendy said it best - being a mommy doesn't necessarily have to be biological. Thanks for sharing your wonderful, heartfelt story. He deserves a "mommy" like you!

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

That is so sweet Liz. I am proud of you and your DH and stepson is very blessed to have you.

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

I think it is wonderful you have such a great relationship. He is approaching adolesence and I think having you will help him get through the next few years that can be tough.

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

Liz, you know how I feel already, I am so jealous of you and that relationship. He was not shy when I asked him, how do you deal with all the kisses he loves it. You are genuine and he knows it. You are his mom in every sense.

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

That was so sweet Liz thanks for sharing.

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

Thank you all for your kind words. I was feeling so emotional this weekend. It's nice to share.

Thanks for listening

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

That's such a nice story. Your DH and his son are so lucky to have you.

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

aw..what a wonderful post. This situation is not always pleasant. God bless your willingness and your patience and your love!

You deserve such a special relationship.

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

What a great heartwarming story. It's so nice to hear about kids that are so respectful and full of love, and for great gals like you that have so much love in their hearts to share with a child. Im sure your bond will only get stronger and you will have the best of memories together.

Keep posting your great stories.

You have a wonderful family!

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

I come from divorced parents and I cannot tell you how wonderful you are. Having a wonderful stepmother like you..your stepson is very lucky. You do not know what a wonderul impact you will have on him...being loved by all of you.
I just had to say that!
What a wonderful family!

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

Liz,

I think that it is absolutely beautiful that you and your 'step' son share such a loving relationship! That is going to be more meaningful to him then you will ever possibly know. Since I have a stepMONSTER and a stepfather. I can tell you my stepMONSTER has helped pretty much put the nails in the coffin of the relationship that I had with my father. My 'pop' (stepfather) has been the most loving and wonderful man that he can possibly be. I thank God for him everyday. It means the world to me to have him. To me it also shows what an amazing man he is to take over the raising and nuturing of someone else's kids.

The same is true for you.It takes an amazing person to do this and do it with such love! You are all truly blessed to be building such a loving family!!!




PS (I am half awake so I apologize if this does not make sense!!)

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

I knew you had a greta relationship with him and you know how I feel but i must say it again...............you are amazing!!!!!!!!

Seeing it in writing makes it so emotional. I wish you and your "family" continued blessings.

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

Liz ... the relationship that you have with your "son" is wonderful. I'm so happy that you are happy!

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

Ladies

Your words mean so much to me
I got pretty emotional last night.
Len and I were talking about the whole situation, and I broke down
I started crying hysterically, b/c I was so sad Ashton wasn't with us. I want to be able to take care of him and shower him with love all the time.

Len was real good about it, and we talked about moving up our TTC since I seem to be in need of a child sooner than later. It's still up for discussion b/c I want to run the Marathon next year. He doesn't want me to run if I'm pregnant. So in January my next appt with my GYN, we will discuss all options, and whether or not I can begin TTC while training for the Marathon.

But he basically said he wants us to be happy as a family, and we will also start making moves to keep Ashton longer than 2 days at a time, since it seems to be affecting all of us. This made me feel better.

So thank you all so much for listening. I feel I have so much love to give, I just want the opportunity to give it to Ashton and his future siblings.

Re: I want to share my Stepmother experience so far..........................

Liz, you are awesome!!!

There are some women out there who would not display this type of love an emotion to a child that they did not bare.

Some women are bitter and see the stepchild as a nuisance and a competitor to their husband's attention.

You are a great example of a what a blended family should be. You should be very proud of yourself.

What an inspiration you are!!!!

Message edited 11/11/2003 1:59:00 PM.